Breaking News: Chris Brown is Still a Terrible Person

You were disgusted when you found out he hit Rihanna. You were despondent when you found out they were back on speaking (and collaborating) terms. Now, you will be completely unsurprised to learn that Chris Brown has shown off his impressive talent for being an all-around degenerate by burglarizing a woman’s iPhone from the comfort of his Bentley.

At 4:00 AM last Sunday, Brown allegedly saw a woman on the street trying to take a picture of him with her iPhone as he left a nightclub in Miami. He didn’t take kindly to that, as reports say he grabbed the woman’s phone from the window of his Bentley before driving off with phone in hand, offering, “Bitch, you ain’t going to put that on no website.” as a courteous parting shot.

I sure hope that avoiding Internet infamy (oh, wait) by stealing a woman’s iPhone was worth the trouble – Brown remains on probation as a result of his prior charges of domestic violence against Rihanna, and could well be thrown in jail as a result of this incident. Which would be great, in that sense that it would save us all from any devastatingly awkward live duet performances of “Birthday Cake” in the near future.



Leave a Reply
  1. Why is a good question and give him a Grammy to boot. Controversy sells I guess but a zebra can’t change its stripes.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *