Good news for everyone who likes underpowered, low-end spec mobile phones made out of unnecessarily expensive materials – the Gresso Pure Black Grand Monaco is here. The window dressing features a plate of black toned glass on the setting for the keypad, a sheet of 42 carat sapphire glass polished with a diamond tool for the screen, and surgical steel for the keypad. The topping is a titanium PVD surface with layers of ceramic for a matte finish that is also scratch resistant. The back of the phone sports either black crocodile leather or black Italian carbon leather.
So, now that we have the sugar coating out of the way, what kind of a phone will you actually be getting? Well, let me put it this way. If you buy this phone, the first call you will receive will be from 2004. It will be asking for its phone back. The Grand Monaco makes its grand entrance in high Symbian S40 style. For reference, that’s the OS my Nokia runs – the Nokia that I purchased at a stall in a subway station for a little under $60 plus pay-as-you-go SIM card, which brightened up countless subway trips with riveting rounds of Rally 3D, Sudoku, and Snake (by the way, the 3D in Rally 3D? Totally misleading.).
So, if you want to drop $2,700 on what, for all its trappings, is a bargain-bin phone in terms of functionality, go nuts (just a heads up, only 100 units will be sold). But, I was always under the impression that luxury was about looking cool. If you can look cool with an insanely expensive phone that was out-of-date five years ago (that number might be generous), more power to you. The Gresso Pure Black Grand Monaco phone will be available sometime this month, though the website mistakenly states the release date as February 2011.