Geeks have never been hotter or more in demand, with geek guys commanding a wealth that far surpasses Wall Street bankers, and this richness comes with a 20-30 something age bracket, plus someone who will always be able to fix your TV whenever it breaks. Add to this the possibility of trying the latest Angry Birds game before it launches and you can see why geek guys are becoming quite a catch. Forget about so called manly men who can chop wood and carry you out of a burning building, today’s eligible bachelors are all about the apps and the high speed internet access.
We’ve already shared with you some of the cool young app-illionaires of today (and frankly, most of them are men) and now we’re going to give you some tips on bagging a geek guy for yourself. This involves skill, subterfuge and a smattering of CSS and CMS knowledge but you have to put in the effort to get a geek all your own.
I’m going to address how to capture a geek guy in this post, as though geek girls and geek guys have many similarities, they also vary enough to merit separate post of their own. I’m going to assume that you’re not a genuine geek girl ( a geek guys natural hunting ground) so here’s how to fake it so you can make it with them.
These are the stages of getting a geek guy.
Stage One: Identify the hot geek girls and emulate them
Traditionally men were shallow creatures who only went for Playboy bunnies/ Miss America as they needed someone to look pretty on their arm. Nowadays a geek guy will be wanting someone who is more than eye candy, and this has lead to a growth in the kooky cute quirky indie geek girl sector. Girls to identify with would be Zooey Deschanel, Kristen Bell ( Hello! Veronica Mars), Katy Perry, Felicia Day– women with big eyes, bangs, and who look hot in glasses.
Clothing can be sexy but not over the top, and pink is a no no, whilst Mario and Warcraft T-Shirts are a definite plus. Hit Hot Topic/ Urban Outfitters and buy everything in a size too small- really make those pixels pop across the chest. Glasses are a necessary accessory and if they can be teamed with a coquettish smile and fluttery lashes so much the better. NOTE: Bad eyesight NOT a requirement.
Stage Two: Pick a geek TV show
If you’d like to target your hobby towards a particular geek you have in mind that’s fine, but in general I recommend getting really passionate about one geeky show and learning everything about it. A geek guy won’t hold it against you if you’re not into the same stuff as him, but he wants to know you can be passionate about sci-fi etc and know that he might be able to introduce you to his world. Warning: This needs careful thought as if you are only going to half-heartedly adopt a geeky trait it should be something pretty remote so you’ll avoid detection. Examples might be Symbolism in the Doctor Who novels or the notion of identity in Mysterious Cities of Gold. If you can actually commit to your geek niche- good ones to look at would be Star Wars, Joss Whedon, Doctor Who.
WARNING TWO: Do not choose Game of Thrones or True Blood- both are too new and too popular to give you geek points- they’re the sci-fi equivalent to Glee and don’t show any commitment. Extra points will be granted if you can splash out on some limited edition merchandise and geek apparel.
Step Three: Get a Geek Game
Going for dinner is so passé, geek dates nowadays involve huge plasma screens and limited edition Xbox controllers. The more hardcore might think of trying World of Warcraft, but this takes serious commitment, so it might be better to trick your way through Street fighter or Soul Caliber by memorizing a few key combo moves and surprising him with you crazy button skills.
[Ivy from Soul Caliber]
Do not pick a character unless they are actually good- no marks will go to someone who goes for a scantily clad bimbette-unless they kick ass as well as Soul Caliber’s Ivy. I’d advise against choosing Dance Central as your game, as though you WILL look cute jumping around, this will put you into the realm of fluffy girl gamer and real geeks will avoid you. For something more active than button bashing, Guitar Hero is a win win option, as it’s OK to be bad at it, as long as you profess enjoyment.
Stage Four: Be a Tweetheart
The first thing a geek guy will do is Google you, so you better back up your new found hobbies by a dedicated Twitter/Facebook stream showcasing your love for the other-world. Think of your online presence in the same way that you view a resume- you will be judged and decided on with a few clicks and you want them all to look good – and truthful. Sure, you could just be genuinely into everything geeky, but then you wouldn’t be reading this would you? A blog will go a long way to set yourself up as a genuine geek girl, and if you can decorate it with vintage Mario images so much the better. The plus sides of this are that by setting up a blog/Twitter account you’ll also become competent in your own right, and be able to use words like CMS confidently in a conversation.
Stage Five: Get some geek LOLs
In the olden days (circa 1995) cheesy chat up lines were all the rage, even though results were.. well, not good. Nowadays you want to get your LOLs on with some geek lingo, and luckily for you people have compiled a list for you to study.
Good ones include:
- The box said ‘Requires Windows Vista or better’. So I installed LINUX.
- UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
- In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Anything you feel is beyond you means that you need to get your Google on; you don’t have to use Linux but you should KNOW what it is. Education is sexy remember?
Stage Six: Go to Geek Hangouts
Now you should feel equipped to go meet your geek so you need to consider just where to go to find them. Physically they can be found in places such as Silicon Valley, San Fran and the Old Street Roundabout in the UK, but you won’t get them by turning up at their work place (unless you are super sneaky and then kudos). To get your geek guy, you need a twofold strategy.
1. Think places where you can get a seat, drinks are well priced and you can hear people talk. Yes, geeks avoid sweaty clubs as they don’t have the moves and glasses can fog up. Scout them out in the surrounding areas to these companies- the address of Google/Yahoo etc will be listed online.
2. Take the Geek approach- add them on FourSquare and see where they ‘check in’ to- those will be your ideal stomping grounds.
Hopefully these tips will have enabled you to look the part, sound the part and get to the geek guys- now the rest is up to you. Live long and prosper!
The PostScript section
PS. Whilst these tips might all manage to engage you with a geek guy, you’ really will have to depend on your own wit and charm, because as much as we’d like to counsel you every step of the way, there may come a day when your CSS knowledge comes into fire.. and only your charm will save you.
PPS. Whilst we encourage you to enjoy utilizing these tips and making friendly with Apple Genius’ we in no way suggest that bagging an Appillionaire is the secret to a long happy life.
PPPS. With every geek guy you date you must be aware that though he will love you, his passion for Warcraft/Final Fantasy/Twitter will never falter- he’s had them for longer than he has known you (the modern version of the football widow (or is that just a British term?))