I Will Never Look at Turkey the Same Way Again

Well, I know what I’ll be seeing in my nightmares for the next month.

The Clumsy Cook Turkey Mask looks like it’s been ripped out of a bad horror movie. But hey, that could be perfect – if your Thanksgiving experiences usually end up as horror stories anyway, you might as well kick it up a notch and scar the entire family for life in the process. Better that they remember this Thanksgiving for being chased by a crazed person in a turkey mask than for bone-dry turkey or the family’s annual argument about whatever it is your family argues about.

I’m not sure what it is about this mask. I think it’s the small size of the eye holes and the mouth that makes it sublimely terrifying, on a serial killer level. Come to think of it, there’s another bonus – with one mask, you get a memorable Thanksgiving and a winner of a Halloween costume. Nothing like a good old 2-for-1 deal.

You can grab the Clumsy Cook Turkey Mask off Perpetual Kid for $35, whenever it becomes available. You’ll be the fear engine Thanksgiving never needed, but is going to get anyway.

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