Doesn’t This Medieval Neck Collar Make a Great Choker?

Sometimes, you need a little appreciation for older technology. You know, things like the original NES. The transistor radio. The steam engine.

Medieval handcuffs.

You can buy some medieval handcuffs, which I would imagine must have been like the iPad of the 12th century, from True Swords, which deals in all things involving stabby death and medieval imprisonment.

You can just get the handcuffs, but why stop there when you can get the neck collar cuff, which expands the amount of shackles you can put someone in? These cuffs are the best dungeon companions they’ve ever made. Made of hand-forged, high carbon steel, they’re also the heaviest and toughest restraints you can put on your wretched, heretical prisoners. Revolutionary.

Personally, I would just wait until next year’s models – I heard the stocks are going to be like nothing we’ve ever seen before. Public humiliation is clearly where the punishment market is headed in the years to come.

In all seriousness, if you need to punish one of your friends for recording a video with their smartphone in portrait mode again, these medieval handcuffs and neck collar cuff should get the point across just like they used to in the bad, plague-infested old days. They’re selling for $50 and $40, respectively.

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