Darkness surrounds you. The night chased everyone else into their beds a long time ago. Even the streetlights overhead struggle to stay awake, their light flitting in and out of existence, reducing the world to a succession of faded, grey snapshots.
Then, you hear it.
It starts out as a hum – maybe just a car. A few seconds pass, and you know it’s something more. The hum swells into a roar. You remember the stories. Everyone’s heard them. That doesn’t make them true, right? The roar becomes rolling thunder on the street behind you. You look, and realize you’ll have a story of your own to tell. It bears down on you, and you only have one option – get out of the way.
The Pedal Pub is coming.
This massive bar on wheels is sure to become the terror of your neighborhood if someone around actually ponies up the cash for it. This mobile watering hole can actually hold 17 people, along with the beer that they’ll be partaking in. There are six seats on either side of the bar, plus a bench that can hold a few people on the back. Five seats on either side have pedals attached that actually propel the bar forward, thankfully at no more than five miles per hour. One seat on each side doesn’t get pedals, which are sure to be reserved as seats of shame for those too hammered to pedal properly. As for the bench in the back, I don’t want to know what’s going to be happening on the bench in the back of this party animal.
Putting the party bus (any party bus, ever) to shame, the party cycle is piloted by two people – the bartender, who will be serving the beer held on tap in the wine barrel in front, and the person whom I have to assume would be the designated driver of this contraption, the wheelman. Problem is, the wheelman can only steer. I have no idea if he has emergency stopping powers, or if the stopping power is going to be provided by the wall that ten trashed people are no doubt somewhere going to pedal furiously into. It has to happen somewhere, right?
It’s not a party without music, and that’s provided for by the Pedal Pub. Four speakers are built into the top of the contraption (that seems like the only appropriate word here), which you can use with any mp3-friedly device. If ever on some unlucky night this ton-plus mass of revelry tears out of the mists behind you, you will most certainly know it. The headless horseman has absolutely nothing on the Pedal Pub.
Oh, and there are cupholders. Obviously. If you and 16 of your closest friends want to become legends of your town, start pooling together the 40 racks you’ll need to get a Pedal Pub for yourself.