Like, oh my god, you drink tap water? That’s like, totally gross.
To be fair, Los Angeles tap water isn’t the greatest. That said, you can probably just grab some Aquafina or whatever and call it a day. But, today, we’re talking Beverly Hills, so we don’t have time for that plebeian nonsense. You need to go rouse your driver and have him take you to a boutique that sells Beverly Hills 90H2O.
The water in question has been developed (yeah, developed) by epicurean experts, including a water sommelier (yeah, water sommelier) by the name of Martin Riese. He is apparently the world’s foremost water sommelier, implying that there are more than one of them, which is a revelation in itself.
Beverly Hills 90H2O water starts out as mountain spring water from Northern California, because they certainly didn’t get it from the Los Angeles River. Minerals are added in some sort of combination that merits a patent, and there you go – water that has crisp and smooth used as adjectives to describe it. The press release rivals the water itself in sheer craftsmanship.
Apparently, this is now the world’s best-tasting water, because people totally drink water for the taste. In fact, this water is so good, it can be paired with meals, like wines. Because here I thought water went pretty well with, I don’t know, everything?
Beverly Hills 90H2O is available in luxury outlets like Montage Beverly Hills and Bulgari on Rodeo Drive, in a further effort to prove that you really can get some rich people to overpay for anything. That will be followed by a gradual worldwide launch in major cities and urban areas around the globe.
For now, the water will mercifully have a limited production run of 10,000 individually numbered glass bottles (of water), each of which comes with some sort of a unique art piece. It sounds like Beverly Hills 90H2O will be around to stay even after the initial run of 10,000.
So, what’s the damage? Maybe not as much as you might expect by this point, but a ridiculous amount for water nonetheless – $14 for a bottle of Beverly Hills 90H2O, although I guess you have to factor markup from the fancy glass bottle in there, too. It’s also available in a 12-pack for $164. But that’s a small price to pay for being able to swish water around in a wine glass and extend your pinky while you drink it.