Here we are, talking about how wearable tech is a new thing. Watches have been around since the Renaissance! But, it took all the brilliance of the Age of Enlightenment to really give us the crown jewel of early wearable tech, when a bunch of men in 18th century France thoughtfully posited that women could act less crazy if they had a bunch of orgasms. Different times, those. I think. It’s hard to tell sometimes.
Anyway, vibrators have been around almost as long as wearable tech has been a thing. Time to bring them up to speed! With OhMiBod, we’ve got our app-controlled vibrator, and it’s just gushing with sensual features.
There’s all kinds of fun to be had with OhMiBod. Sure, you can just set your partner off with a few taps. You can even use presets, I guess. Yawn. Come on, you came to the 21st century to have some fun. With your phone’s accelerometer, you can shake your phone to get a little crazy, or just tilt the phone further and further downwards to get that pleasure train up to full speed.
We’re just getting started. Want to send passionate messages in Morse code? You can tap and hold to send quick vibrations or long, drawn-out dashes of pleasure. Is there a better way to say ‘I love you’? Of course not.
Stuck in the car when the mood strikes? Take the edge off the old commute—it’s totally safe, thanks to voice control. We’d lament the lack of Siri integration, but frankly, I don’t know if it would be appropriate to get her involved. Forget about Siri being the third wheel—if you need a middleman, cue up some music. The vibrator will move along to the beats, so make sure you’ve got your sexy time playlist ready to go before you leave home.
OhMiBod was on IndieGogo back in May and June, and, to no one’s surprise, easily hit its funding goal and stretch goal. Hitting the stretch goal means that sexting is baked right into the app—Snapchat killer! You lucky kids that got your orders in will get yours sometime this month. Otherwise, you’ll have to wait with bated breath until OhMiBod hits retail, when it’ll go for $130.