If you’re going to do them the favor of finding their food for them, those squirrels are going to have to pay somehow. The currency will be dignity, and it will be paid in Vines.
Hammacher Schlemmer has the Squirreliest Squirrel Feeder, which accomplishes its squirrel-shaming mission in an admirably simple way. It’s an oversized vinyl squirrel mask with a feeder inside. To feed, squirrels must subject themselves to the sort of tomfoolery usually reserved for humans too cheap and lazy to put together actual Halloween costumes. It’s a cruel jig to dance for a meager supper, but dance it they will.
Also noteworthy is that the Squirreliest Squirrel Feeder is maybe the cheapest thing ever to show up on Hammacher Schlemmer. Alright, probably not quite, but I’m guessing it’s down there—you can start embarrassing the neighborhood squirrels for just $15.