Bill Gates warned us, man. The machines are rising. Better enjoy the next decade of outrageous convenience before we start getting suffocated by our self-driving cars and driven out of our homes by sentient thermostats. But, most worrisome of all is the harbinger of robot hostility — the groundbreaking machine unafraid to shatter Asimov’s first law of robotics.
The robot vacuum.
In a segment that could only be properly done on local news, we have the story of a woman in South Korea mercilessly attacked by her robot vacuum. The insidious machine was even intelligent enough to wait until the poor woman was at her most vulnerable — napping peacefully, unaware of her robot’s machinations. The vacuum saw its chance, and went at the woman in a fury, sucking up her hair and totally messing up her day. The first messed up day of many for our kind, I fear.
Heroic first responders were able to save the woman, successfully removing her hair from the vacuum’s brush. Humanity has won the first battle, but the war is far from over.