In one of the great tragedies of our time, society has concluded that we’re not capable of the self-control needed to bring alcoholic beverages with us wherever we go. If you’re looking to smuggle your booze to make a museum a little more exciting, save a few bucks at a music show, or you’re really just a snob that needs some good hidden wine instead of that swill they offer at the gallery opening, our list of sneaky drinking tools should have you covered.
Fake Phone Flask
Smartphones have many great uses, but they lack a key one — pouring your favorite liquor. The fake phone flask is perfect because phones are so ubiquitous, no one would ever think to give it a second look, and it won’t draw attention when you pull it out. If anyone asks why you have two phones, just give them a wink and say that this one is for getting work done!
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Amazon – $15
A bottle of hidden wine in a purse is a storied tradition, but we live in times where there’s a more elegant solution. This wine handbag comes with storage for up to three liters of wine and space for freezer bags to keep that zinfandel chilled all day. We’re giving it bonus points because the spout reminds us of Hal from 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Vivajennz – $78
Wine Handbag, Redux
If one wine handbag isn’t enough, (or you need a backup), the Vernissage wine handbag is the thing for you. Why go through all the trouble of filling up the wine yourself when you can get the full package all in one place? The promo shots suggest wine glasses, but honestly, you should just drink from the tap on this one.
Firebox – £30/$38, but doesn’t ship to the United States =(