Life’s just one big party until you wake up at 23 realizing you’re wasting your good boob years on guys that will never be the right fit. If the shoe fits, wear that baby to the alter and if it doesn’t, don’t worry I have a plan to help you find the best pair. Am I a relationship expert? No. Am I match maker? Not even close. I’m just your average female millennial who met her husband on Tinder at the age of 24, had a ring on her finger by 25, and wants to help you find your husband too. I’m sharing all my tips with you because I want you to have your happily ever after. You deserve it!
There’s absolutely nothing I hate more than watching or hearing about women who are total catches striking out consistently in their dating lives, especially when they want so very much to find someone to commit. I’m not here to tell you online dating is easy, because it isn’t by any means. If you can handle that, and some brutally honest truths about what you can do to find your husband, read on. Your husband is out there, I swear, you just have to get smart about how you go about finding him. Nothing worth having comes easy, but if you put the work in having what you want is right within your reach!
Be all business
You need to treat dating like a part time freaking job babe if you want to find your husband. No slacking. Think you can do that? Great! Step one is done.
You also need to treat guys like they’re interviewing. Would you hire this guy to work for a company if you owned it? Seriously ask yourself that. It might seem extreme but it works and it’s time to buckle up and get serious!
Thoroughly vet your candidates beforehand
Casually ask them all your smaller deal breakers up front. If you’re hung up on height, or careers (I’m not here to judge you on what you really care about), ask that straight up before you agree to meet them in person. You waste less time! Also, it’s difficult and awkward to have to extract yourself from a date you know is going south, so this helps you eliminate the chances of that.
Be confident in yourself and what you have to offer
Act like you’re a catch, because you are. Don’t act desperate or sad. Replace that inner self talk with I am a catch. I have a lot to offer. I’m wife material. Repeat that to yourself every morning as you look in the mirror and do your makeup. Stop right now with worrying about the competition. That’s going to eat you alive. Own what you’re good at, and I’m sure it’s a lot!!! Actually, you know what? I want you to make a list right now of what you are good at and how you add value.
For first dates, don’t ever commit to anything bigger than coffee
There’s nothing worse than sitting across from someone for the entirety of dinner who you just have no connection with. Good luck bailing yourself out of that one before dessert. Never commit to more than coffee on the first date. If you have to, tell them you only have an hour because you have a lot of work to do. This sets expectations, and helps you have an out if you need one.
Don’t play texting games
It doesn’t do you any favors to play hard to get. Stop already with the should I text him the day after a great date or should I not? If you like him, do it. Playing hard to get is the absolute worst strategy. I don’t know who came up with this terrible idea, chances are good it’s coming from one of your chronically single friends, but it needs to end.
You don’t want him to wonder if you are really interested, and you don’t want to have to wonder that too. That’s how people end up moving on; when you miss out on key communication. After my first date with my future husband you bet I texted him the next day. It also helps you gauge their interest level in you!
Skip anyone without a serious career or serious motivation
If he’s a bar tender or unemployed just say no. That’s not husband material. And if you’re not like me and do want kids, how the hell is he going to provide for you and them? Not with Tina’s ten dollar tips from margarita Monday. Chances are also good if he can’t be serious about a career, he can’t be serious in a relationship. Sure, there are exceptions to the rule but do you really want to waste your time finding one? I don’t think so.
Don’t sleep with him on the first date
Don’t you dare. Under NO circumstances is it ok to break this rule, unless you’re not seriously looking for a husband. Wait as many dates as possible until you do sleep with him (preferably like eight). The hoe life doesn’t pair well with being viewed as a potential wife. Like my Mom always said, “Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?” It’s so old school, but it’s so spot on.
Keep it moving
If someone isn’t working for you, stop wasting their time and yours. I don’t care if they’re good in bed or you’re lonely and need someone. If your goal is to find your person, you’re not going to find them if you waste your time on making yourself feel better short term. Sometimes you need to pick and choose baby. Do you want to be happy for this month or for forever? I thought forever!
Be honest with what you’re looking for and if he doesn’t fit that move on
I’ve been there done that on trying to convince myself to hang in there with someone that looks great on paper but there’s just no spark. You’re just going to make yourself miserable in addition to flat out wasting your time. I thought we’re going for your happiness here. Next!
Make a list of deal breakers
I’m serious. Get yourself a pen and paper and write down what you want and are absolutely not flexible on and stick to it. No exceptions. Can you tell I like lists? They work for absolutely everything! They also help you keep on track!
Stop dating guys your own age
Go for someone 10 years older. Someone ten years your senior has his act together. I mean career wise and life wise. He knows what he wants and if you do too you won’t look twice at Bros your own age. We’re trying to adult here, honey.
Spend a few days talking to a guy so you can feel him out before meeting up
After texting someone for a few days or spending some time on the phone, you can definitely get a feel for him. Texting is a smaller investment of time up front, so you don’t end up wasting your time meeting up if you know he’s just not going to work for you.
If you like him and he doesn’t want to commit, kick his ass to the curb
Like yesterday. There’s no way you’re going to magically convince him, and you’re just wasting your time. You can’t force anyone to want what you want. On to the next one, baby.
Find out about his lifestyle
Aka is he prone to partying? Ask him what he does for fun or on weekends. If it routinely involves clubs or bottle service drop that like a hot potato babe. That is not and never will be husband material. That’s so circa 2009 when you just hit college. Adults don’t act like that, and neither do husbands.
Avoid competition at all costs
If he’s an international model or thinks his looks are a straight 18 out of 10, next. You don’t need to compete for his attention. Your life is not a season of the bachelor. You don’t need to compete with 30 different women to find the love of your life. Don’t even put yourself in that situation.