Infrared Supine Sauna Looks More Like Audrey 2

12329_1000x1000That’s all we see when staring at this thing…”Feed me Seymour, feed me now!”  Now that we have gotten that out of the way – need a heat bath? Good heavens, don’t go to a public sauna! Get that done in your own pad, with the exorbitantly expensive Infrared Supine Sauna.

The most luxurious way to look out of your penthouse suite while the rest of society crumbles around you, the Infrared Supine Sauna is a one-person sauna that generates immense heat and new age satisfaction. Laying down in a supine position like someone was painting you during the Renaissance, your body will be soaked with heat from four infrared lamps, raising subcutaneous body temperature by up to 2 degrees – good to relieve joint pain and swelling. Also, your feet will be a little raised above your heart, improving circulation. 440 jade stones line the bottom, which, when heated, help to soothe and relax muscles and burn calories.


Temperature can be adjusted from between 86 degrees and 185 degrees, and sessions can be from 5 to 99 minutes, and both of those can be changed in increments of one. Oh, and your head will be sticking out while you’re hanging out in this thing. So, make sure your roommates and/or family members are not present when you use this, or, barring that, make sure that said people are extremely nice. Otherwise, you are in prime, prime pranking position, and it’s going to take an extraordinary person to not take advantage of an easy opportunity like that.

But, if you have the $14,000 in pocket change to blow on the Infrared Supine Sauna, something tells me there’s a decent chance you live by yourself, anyway.