Happy Friday! It’s time to sit back, relax, and enjoy one of the best revenge stories I have seen on the internet.
A criminal defense attorney came up with the best way to handle his neighbor’s deadbeat grandson after he kept stealing his Amazon packages off the porch.
“What’s better than calling the cops on your (sweet little old) neighbor’s heroin addict grandson for stealing your Amazon packages?” he asked the internet.
“In July, my elderly neighbor had her grandson, and pregnant girlfriend, move in “to help them out”. She is a widowed lady in her seventies.”
“Babbles a lot, but sweet.”
“I have a soft spot for her. Years ago, she cornered me as I was leaving to take my dog on a walk.”
“My dog was unhappily pacing waiting for the walk while we listened to her stories. He peed on her during the story; she is so senile she didn’t notice.”
“Just a few days later, I am mowing my backyard and the grandson walks past my house carrying an amazon envelope. Weird.”
“An hour later, sweet little old lady comes over. With the envelope her grandson had. “This was in my landscaping”.
“Totally forgot I ordered my kids the movie “Leap”. (What a sh*t haul for this kid).”
“See I am a criminal defense attorney. Probably the only one this lady knows. If I call the cops, my neighbor will try to hire me.”
“It will get weird.”
“She is so sweet. I will be a witness. He is on probation, so he will sit in jail for a while.”
“This will totally make me look like a snitch to my own clients in that same jail who are thieves, addicts, and burglars.”
“It’s bad personally and professionally. And it’s not the biggest deal.”
“So I filled up an Amazon box with “purple rain powder” that was ordered to my office.”
“A dry dye that gets darker and spreads when it comes into contact with your sweat.”
“That lasts a week on your skin. Think leaking pen, times fifty.”
“Why? I want to shame him, and it won’t come back on me. He’s not gonna call the cops for stealing my sh*t.”
“He isn’t gonna tell his grandma he stole from me.”
“And if it makes a mess in her house, it’s still cheaper for her then hiring a lawyer and paying her grandson’s court costs and fines.”
“Yep, the package was gone in 20 minutes.”
“I walk past the home; screams of anger at the pregnant girlfriend “this shit won’t come off” “it’s all over my grandma’s house”. Priceless.”
“The following day I give him the “head nod” as he smokes a cigarette in a hoody in July. He runs inside.”
“Then I taught my kids to yell “smurf” when we walk past.”
“No snitching, just shame.”
You can view the original post here. What do you think?
Let me know in the comments below.
Bre is a female millennial go getter residing in New York. One part entrepreneur, one part geek, she obtained her degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology.
She has held some exciting roles in both fashion as a designer working for brands like Victoria’s Secret and Henri Bendel, as well as in ad tech working for publishers like Ziff Davis.
Today she operates Chip Chick Media which reaches millions of women each month.
Bre is passionate about teaching women how to build a business and be an entrepreneur, in addition to keeping her readers informed of the latest technology trends and exciting products to improve their lifestyles.
You can send Bre a message here.