“I talk to her pediatrician who says I should try a small amount of melatonin,” she went on to explain.
“Since I started giving her melatonin she’s been getting 9 hours versus 4 hours before.”
“My 5-year-old doesn’t have dark circles under her eyes and her behavior and performance in preschool have improved.”
“Problem is her father (29M), he lost all physical and legal custody but still has visitation.”
“Her bedroom at her dad’s has a TV, she shares it with her 2-year-old sister who screams and stays up till 2 am and sleeps in till noon, and her dad and I don’t have a stellar co-parenting relationship.”
“He blames me for losing custody but in reality he let her insurance lapse 3 times and she developed stage 1 bedsores on his watch due to neglect.”
“Daughter told him she takes her sleep gummy at mommy’s and then she can sleep. He calls me screaming that I had no right to drug his child.”
“I said I do since I have legal custody and it was in her best interest.. he opened a CPS case against me and says is making a play for legal custody.”
“Doesn’t want physical or even more visitation just wants the right to make decisions I’ll pay for.”
“He’s over $8k in arrears and wants to eat that away. I followed the pediatrician and gave an OTC vitamin.”
She then asked the internet if she was in the wrong, and here’s the advice she got.
“So, just to get a grasp on the situation,” One person said to her, “She has insomnia diagnosed and gets medication prescribed by a doctor.”
“He has no custody, only visitation. He lets his child with insomnia sleep in the same room as a child that gets taught exactly zero routines, so she sleeps whenever she wants.”
“He also already has a track record of being irresponsible around his child(ren).”
“Not sure how thorough CPS is where you are, OP, but if someone has to be careful with them, it’s him and not you.”
“I’d call my lawyer if I were you to make sure they are in the picture of him once again trying some bs.”
“The situation she faces at her dad’s is not good for her health and I hope you can make CPS understand this.”
Another person replied with, “It could have been a recommendation bc melatonin is over the counter.”
“I was in the exact same issue but I was the daughter. My bio-dad REFUSED to let me have my melatonin even though my doctor said it would help me sleep and had been working at home with my mum.”
“What my mum did was before the next visitation, we went back to the doctors and got an official prescription for over the counter melatonin so it was in my medical records and he couldn’t refuse to give me prescribed medicine.”
“It may not be enough to push their dad to let her take it but it will definitely help your CPS case (which he doesn’t have footing for anyway) and they might make him let her have it.”
“I wish you luck and hope your daughter gets the sleep she needs.”
Someone else weighed in with, “Also, it’s very important to refer to it as a medication and not a drug. Often caseworkers/doctors/social workers form opinions quickly, and if you say “I have the right to drug my child…” often it doesn’t matter what comes after that.”
“You are in the right, totally NTA but to cover your ass say “I do not drug my child, I administer the medications prescribed by her pediatrician as per the treatment plan for her medical condition.” and if there is any comeback, follow up with “are you suggesting I do not comply with the treatment plan from her pediatrician?”.
“While it’s saying the same thing, the term “drug” is pejorative and gives the impression you are using chloroform or Rohypnol, but using terms like treatment plan and medication gives the impression you are a mother that is being medically conscious of your child’s health.”
“Also bear in mind that whatever you say, it may be being recorded, and he could make a ‘snippet’, which sounds bad played out of context, to playback to relevant authorities. E-mails or other written communication is best.”
“I once had a teacher call CPS due to when I was at school I made a comment like “when my dad gives me pills to feel good he says to always take them all” meaning “when I have a chest infection, and he gives me antibiotics to make me chest stop hurting and wheezing, that it is important to finish the full course due to the effects of antibiotic resistance”. Teacher acted in good faith, so did my dad, but it still caused him issues…”
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