“My wife and I love our adoptive daughter so much. (I love her more than my wife!) She is a good kid. She gets good grades, is responsible, doesn’t drink nor smoke, etc, etc…”
“We have been really happy these past 14 years, despite the occasional ups & downs. They’re just a part of parenthood.”
“But despite all that I’d still trade my adoptive daughter and all that me, my wife and her have experienced together, just to see my biological daughter again.”
“If only for a day or something like that. It sounds bad, I know, but that’s how I feel and I can’t do anything about it.”
“I don’t know if this is a common thought that adoptive parents with dead children have. It very well could be. But I really don’t know, and I’m afraid to talk to my wife about it.”
He then asks if he would be the worst, “for telling my adoptive daughter how I feel?”
“I appreciate honesty above anything else. This also weighs really heavily on me, it would lift a lot of pain if I could get this off my chest.”
“I want to be honest with my daughter at all times, but I fear that this could damage our relationship.”
“I also just don’t want my daughter to “overstep any boundaries”. There have been times when she has treaded on some thin ice when talking about my biological daughter.”
He then adds at the end, “A lot of people have said that my intention is to hurt my adoptive daughter. That is not the case, at all. I just appreciate honesty.”
One person said to him that he’s a jerk and, “Under NO circumstances should you tell her you would trade her away for another child.”
“How would that make YOU feel? “Oh yeah, I love you and all, but I love this other kid more and would gladly get rid of you if I could have them back.”
“You should never tell anyone this, let alone a teenage girl.”
Someone else replied with, “What is wrong with you? Your need to share this weird thought with your daughter is horrifying.”
“There are some things you just don’t tell people and this is one of them. As a fellow adoptee, my heart breaks for your daughter.”
Another person commented, “I was expecting some mention of the kid asking or prodding at it, but no. This guy just wants to straight-up devastate his kid to make himself feel a little better.”
“And holy sh*t, imagine feeling relief at devastating your kid. Get a therapist dude.”
And then this person made an excellent point, “Bro won’t even tell his wife so why would he tell the one person his feelings could hurt most?”
You can view the original post here. What do you think? Let me know in the comments below.
Bre is a female millennial go getter residing in New York. One part entrepreneur, one part geek, she obtained her degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology.
She has held some exciting roles in both fashion as a designer working for brands like Victoria’s Secret and Henri Bendel, as well as in ad tech working for publishers like Ziff Davis.
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