“Later on in the day we were doing the deed and he started to choke me, again which I usually like.”
“It got to a point where I properly couldn’t breathe so I used our signal to stop and he just looked down at me said I’m not gonna stop because I’m in the mood to kill you.”
“He must have seen the fear in my eyes or something and he immediately let go and like cradled me and said sorry.”
“I thought it was just him being in the moment so I let it go.”
“But it happened a second time.”
“He was just like staring at me and was whispering sweet things to me and then it took a turn to, you’re mine forever, never gonna let you go, I’ll kill you if you leave.”
“I recoiled cause it made me uncomfortable and he like ticked me and told me it was just a joke.”
“Like I love this man but like wtf…. how do I bring this up with him??”
“Tbh I’m tempted to leave… We both don’t have dark senses of humor so I don’t know where this came from.”
She then asks, “How do I address this?? What should I say?”
The internet insisted she needs to leave him before he does kill her, and then she provided an update.
“The second someone ignores a safe word, you walk.”
“More important than ignoring her safe word, “I’ll kill you if you leave” is controlling behavior. This is the real reason she should leave, and I mean yesterday.”
“This is abuse. Statistics show that men who choke their partners (without consent) are far more likely to end up killing her.”
“Wouldn’t you rather get away and be able to see your grandkids one day? Or risk the chance this guy will not stop choking you? Unless you think you are stronger than him…. please…look out for yourself. This is scary and not normal.”
“Best case scenario his self-control is dangerously poor. I’d be terrified.”
“He ignored your safe word and his response to use it was to ‘joke’ about killing you while doing something that very much could kill or cause serious injury to you. Honestly, I don’t think I could ever trust a partner that lost in his own power fantasies because the one that gets hurt in all of this is you.”
“He seems to be escalating, to see how far he can go. Dangerous. Trust his actions not his words.”
“I left in the middle of the night in a rental car with my dog and as many clothes as I could fit in a bag. My ex started with dominance stuff like spanking and choking during sex (which I love) and when he started punishing me for random things I should have realized something was wrong and I didn’t! I wish I would have because that man abused me inside and outside of the bedroom, mental and physical. Please get out, I almost lost my life numerous times over a 3 year period and the longer you stay the more dangerous it gets.”
She then provided an update on what she decided to do.
“I just wanted you all to know that last night while he was sleeping, I took my dog Daisy and left my boyfriend in the middle of the night.”
“I am at a safe location, staying with Family, and have been in contact with the police trying to get an intervention order so I can me and my dog safe from him.”
“Thank you all so very much for your support and concern. You have all saved my life!!”
You can read the rest of what the internet had to say to her here.
Bre is a female millennial go getter residing in New York. One part entrepreneur, one part geek, she obtained her degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology.
She has held some exciting roles in both fashion as a designer working for brands like Victoria’s Secret and Henri Bendel, as well as in ad tech working for publishers like Ziff Davis.
Today she operates Chip Chick Media which reaches millions of women each month.
Bre is passionate about teaching women how to build a business and be an entrepreneur, in addition to keeping her readers informed of the latest technology trends and exciting products to improve their lifestyles.
You can send Bre a message here.