“I spoke to my husband a few times beforehand and he told me he had a girlfriend who he wanted to marry but his parents rejected her (They were actually on board for them to get married until she had a very public fight with his sister).”
“We ended up coming to an agreement that we would get married but it would just be for show.”
“He would let me do whatever I wanted, and he could continue seeing his girlfriend. The only ‘rule’ we had is that neither of us could have a child with anyone else and we didn’t make it obvious enough to get caught by our families.”
“I guess we had an open marriage of sorts.”
Nathan Dumlao via Unsplash
“We got married and he continued to see his girlfriend after our honeymoon. I got to travel and do things I would probably never be able to afford otherwise.”
“Things were great until I found out I was pregnant about two months later. He ended up breaking up with his girlfriend when I was 6 months because she kept demanding he have a baby with her too because it “wasn’t fair” and he eventually caught her poking holes in their (birth control).”
“I expected him to find another girlfriend, but he didn’t.”
“When the lockdown hit, we were both stuck in the house together, so we naturally started spending more and more time together.”
“I’ve started noticing we actually have a lot more in common than we thought and I’m starting to catch feelings.”
“I don’t know if or how I should bring this up to him. Our agreement has been working well for us and this could potentially ruin it. I need advice, please.”
She then added, “Our son is already born. His girlfriend knew and agreed to the arrangement. Having kids was part of the agreement.”
“We only slept together once but it was awkward after so we decided to hold off on the kids part.”
Here’s what the internet had to say.
“…Like something you’d see on lifetime.”
“Speak with him and be honest. You are now bound together by a child. The fact he ended the relationship with his girlfriend is very promising and the fact you get on well speaks volumes. I wish you all the best.”
“As married adults with a child together, I think you are both overdue for a grown up talk about how you both intend to go forward.”
“This is pretty common in India, to be honest. Husband and wife have no emotional attachment before the arranged marriage, but after having kids they fall in love. I guess this is the way it worked in many cultures in the ancient world too. But in the modern world, it’s mostly the opposite. You fall in love before the marriage, and fall out of love after having kids.”
“Even though you are already married and having a child together. Let him know your feelings and ask if you guys could start “dating” to know each other. It’s also good to re-evaluate the agreement and appreciate his support through this.”
“I’d say talk to him and be honest with him. There is a chance that he may have feelings for you too. He broke up with his girlfriend, y’all get along well and have things in common, and stayed by your side.”
You can read the rest of what the internet had to say to her here.
Bre is a female millennial go getter residing in New York. One part entrepreneur, one part geek, she obtained her degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology.
She has held some exciting roles in both fashion as a designer working for brands like Victoria’s Secret and Henri Bendel, as well as in ad tech working for publishers like Ziff Davis.
Today she operates Chip Chick Media which reaches millions of women each month.
Bre is passionate about teaching women how to build a business and be an entrepreneur, in addition to keeping her readers informed of the latest technology trends and exciting products to improve their lifestyles.
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