She continued, “The issues started the other week when we were out shopping.”
“There was a socially distanced Santa’s grotto in the large store we were in, and when my boyfriend saw it, he exclaimed in a loud voice “Santa isn’t real!”, and looked at me like I should be laughing or praising him.”
“I didn’t – I was shocked, and dragged him away before anyone could get to him (there were several angry parents waiting who were glaring at us).”
“When we were outside, I asked him what the hell he was playing at, and he said that he’s always hated the idea of Santa, and kids being “lied to” and “manipulated” into believing that some magical man bought all the presents for everyone in the world.”
“I immediately asked if he’d had some traumatic experience with a Santa (like seeing someone part way through putting on the beard and hat) but he said no, and that his parents always told him the truth (he’s an only child), and no one in his family ever tried to play along with the Santa “lie”.”
“This made me really sad – I loved Santa as a kid, and was lucky enough that I learned the truth about him/Tooth Fairy/Easter Bunny organically when I was old enough, so couldn’t quite believe that someone had grown up without that.”
“I was also appalled at the shouting, and told him that it was childish and stupid, and he agreed not to do it again.”
She rightfully thought this crazy outburst was the end of him doing this, but she was wrong. While she was out getting her mail in the apartment complex they live in, one of their female neighbors approached her.
“She said that she wasn’t sure if I knew, but that my boyfriend had basically ruined their Christmas.”
“She explained that the day before, he’d been out for a run and had passed her and her son (aged about 5 or 6) on the way out – they’d chatted for a minute, but it was obvious that the son wanted to leave and go back inside because he was “making cookies for Santa”…”
“Yep, you guessed it, my boyfriend opened his mouth and told the kid the whole truth about the situation, right down to how if the kid looked around the apartment enough, he’d probably find that all the presents “Santa” was going to bring him were already there.”
“That’s exactly what happened – the mother couldn’t really discipline the child because it wasn’t his fault, and now a little kid has lost years of wonder because of my stupid boyfriend.”
As soon as she got back to their apartment, she told her boyfriend what had happened. He brushed her off and said he didn’t know how she could be upset with him, since he never yelled.
“I told him straight up that any future children we might possibly have had a right to be children, which includes being allowed to believe in Santa.”
“He said that it would never happen. We’re now not talking. I can’t possibly comprehend breaking up over this, but it seems like an immovable impasse. Am I being too stubborn – is Santa really that important?”
Here’s what the internet had to say.
“Your boyfriend is a jerk and how he behaves tells a lot about his personality. He pretends that it’s out of empathy for the children that he does this, because he feels like they shouldn’t be lied to. Yet he fails to imagine the joy children feel about Santa. And he chooses to ‘break the news’ in ways that he knows will upset children and their parents.”
“I don’t know how the rest of his behaviour is, but this Santa thing indicates that he enjoys power and control and to upset people. It would surprise me if for the rest he would be an empathetic, caring person.”
“For me this would be reason to properly reevaluate the relationship and see what other red flags there are.”
“You have voiced your concern to him twice. I would be bothered by the fact that you even had to say it twice.”
“There is a such a thing as common decency and it wasn’t much exercised by your S/O in both instances. He does not have the right to shatter other children’s ideologies because they are not his children. However, if this is a concern that you have right now, should you have your future children with this person, I believe it best that you talk to him about how important it is to you and see if he insists on his ‘truthful’ mission. Then you’d know for sure that your input had been dismissed.”
You can read her original post on Reddit here.