Chip Chick
“I wish you had told your mom in advance, so often things that have upset me in my grief journey could have been mitigated if the person had told me privately or in advance so I could process it in my own time (not being sprung with the info at the same time as everyone else).”
“I’m not putting a judgment because I know you are all acting from a place of deep love and loss. Congratulations on your little one, your mom loves her, just give her time.”
“I have to say, I think using it as a middle name would have been better and not any problem for your mother—particularly since your sister only died 5 years ago, and tragically.”
“But mainly because you didn’t even discuss this with your mother in advance. Losing a child is one of the worst things a person can experience in life, and your response “If I want to name my baby after her, I can” was petulant and really dismissive of her very strong emotions about this.”
“It’s fine to name your daughter after her aunt, but this is clearly very hard for your mom. Give your little girl a nickname so that your mom can use a different name if it’s too painful to call her Alisa.”
“I probably would have had the same impulse and I think it’s a lovely tribute. I can see how your mom links the name to tragedy, though, and the loss for her as a parent is probably a little different.”
“Maybe you could help her come up with a nickname for your daughter? Like, she can be “Lizzy” when Grandma is around or something.”
