I’m not going to lie…this one is a tricky question to answer. I’m a former marriage and family therapist and active relationship coach for those who don’t know me.
I help couples, and individuals navigate relationship struggles and improve the quality of their relationships. I have worked with hundreds of couples over the past few years and love helping people strengthen their relationships.
A question I was recently asked is, “is it ever okay to ghost someone?” It is a complex answer. No two therapists/coaches will agree on a “right” solution. So my answer will be based on personal opinion and experience working with individuals who wanted to “ghost” someone for whatever reason.
First, let’s define ghosting in the context of answering this question. Ghosting is a sudden and unexplained communication cutoff. You drop all forms of contact without giving that person any explanation. This usually includes texting, phone calls, and blocking on all social media, email, and other means of communication. Ghosting is a rejection without closure.
This can create severe anxiety for the person being ghosted since they get no explanation.
So, is it ever okay to ghost someone? While I wouldn’t say I like the idea of ghosting, it is okay to ghost someone under specific circumstances. Now, let me explain.
I’m not too fond of ghosting because the lack of communication hurts both parties. The person being ghosted is offered no insight into what they did wrong to make you feel like you needed to ghost them. They are offered no chance to learn from the experience moving forward.
It’s similar to being rejected from a prospective job application without reason. Were you not the right fit for the job? Did you lack a crucial piece of experience they were looking for?
Did they not feel you would be a good fit after the interview? You don’t know because they offered no insight. They just rejected you without any explanation.
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