She also constantly feels like her boyfriend doesn’t actually care if she’s sad or upset; he’ll say things to placate her but never wants to know what’s upsetting her or if he can truly help, so she’s left feeling like she’s all on her own a lot.
Something else that causes trouble between them is their work schedules. She works a full-time, 9 to 5 job, while he works 6 evenings a week from 4 p.m. to 11 p.m.
Their schedules conflicting means they rarely get to spend any quality time together. If they do spend time, it’s super late at night, which affects her sleep, and he’s not really invested in hanging out at that time.
Additionally, her fiancé comes with a few more red flags. He has some past trauma he has not dealt with.
He’s cheated on his ex and then turned around and lied to her face about still having interactions with her, so she doesn’t exactly trust him. He’s definitely addicted to alcohol, which leads to him feeling ashamed and not great overall.
She’s holding out hope that if she does follow through with marrying him, she will be able to fix his substance abuse problem and convince him to get help.
“I’m 30 years old, and while I understand that I’m not “old,” I’m not in my early twenties either,” she said.
“What can I expect from this man? He says he’d like to have a child with me one day, but would he even be helpful with a child?”
She does think that her fiancé is in love with her and there is affection in their relationship. Another upside is that her fiancé does talk about her to all of his loved ones in a very positive way.
“I know it sounds bad, but I do love him very much,” she continued. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be alone. I was single for 6 years, and I’m scared to be alone again, like I might not find anyone else.”
“But I’m also scared that time will pass, and I’ll be unhappy and regret staying with him. I don’t think I could handle seeing him with someone else. I have a lump in my throat just writing this.”