Her Ex-Boyfriend Wants To Be Friends With Her, But He Wants To Set Some Boundaries First, And She’s Just Confused About Why He Wants This
A 26-year-old girl used to date a guy the same age as her for 3 years, and for 1 of those years, they did live together.
Their relationship was excellent, but she says that their way of communicating, coupled with their emotional abilities, never made them really gel that well.
When she did break up with him, it was painful, but it was completely and utterly amicable. They still were in love when they split up, but they knew that if they kept on going in their relationship, it would only end in resentment.
“He wanted to stay friends, but I just couldn’t do it because I was still in love with him, and it was too fresh and too soon, which he couldn’t seem to understand,” she explained.
“So, for my sake, I figured no contact would be for the best. That was 9 months ago. 2 weeks ago, I reach out because I miss him (obviously) and truly wanted to know how he was. He was very surprised because he thought he was never going to hear from me again.”
“I explained to him my reasoning – he understood, and he proposed being friends again. This time I felt like I was in a good place to do so, so I agreed to give it a shot.”
A week after this, her ex sent her a text asking if she would be coming back to their hometown for the holidays.
She said that she would be, so he suggested meeting up to grab a drink together, and she agreed to this.
They met up for a drink and wound up having several. They chatted about how their lives were going, and then after an hour, they parted ways.
GTeam – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“I’m not sure why, but I cried when I got into my car,” she said. “It was just so nice to be with him again and talk to him and hear him laugh and see that he still has the same little mannerisms. Anyway, he texts me later that night and says it was really nice to see me, he missed me, and that he hopes I still want to give this friend thing a shot.”
“I say yeah, I do (hesitantly because I’m not sure what I’m feeling now). He then responds a couple of hours later, saying that we should probably talk about setting up boundaries which, according to him, “might be a good idea if we want to give this an honest effort.” This is where I am confused.”
She has not ever been friends with one of her exes, but she’s never heard of setting up boundaries around being friends with an ex, and she can’t understand why he wants to do this. She plans on respecting any boundary he has, but she wants to figure out why he is doing this in the first place.
She suspects he might be in another relationship, and the boundaries could be a way for him to remain respectful to his current flame. She also is thinking maybe her ex still has feelings for her, and that could be something that could get in the way of them being friends.
“I’m still thinking about my reaction from last night, and I think I felt something while I was with him – just not sure what,” she continued.
“Indigestion? I do miss him, and I do want him in my life I’m just confused about why we need to set these friendship boundaries.”
Do you think exes can ever be friends, and why do you think her ex wants to set boundaries around their friendship?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
If true crime defines your free time, this is for you: join Chip Chick’s True Crime Tribe
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
More About:Relationships
Read This Next
