She Went Out On A Third Date With A Guy Who Tried To Force Her To Hook Up With Him Even Though She Repeatedly Said No And What She Has To Say Is A Very Powerful Message For Anyone To Hear
This is a serious problem in dating that people don’t always talk about. No matter what anyone thinks, forcing your date to do something that they are uncomfortable with is absolutely not okay.
Whether your “expectations” are different from theirs or not, if they aren’t comfortable taking the date to the next level– end of conversation.
Unfortunately, for TikToker @a.lexis.g, these rules are not always respected. The problem here is that when people’s boundaries aren’t respected and are pushed further than they are comfortable with, there’s a lot of psychological damage that can come from that.
Alexis is someone who really suffered from a bad date experience like this, where her date tried to force her to go further than she was comfortable with. Rightfully so, she is clearly very emotional about the entire situation in her TikTok video.
“I just got home from my date– clearly it didn’t go well,” she said while tearing up.
What can be suspicious about a situation like this is that it’s not always easy to tell at first if you don’t feel comfortable around your date.
“This was our second date,” she said. “We’ve talked for a few weeks, um, we got along really well. The first date went really good.”
Given that her first date went well with him and that they had some good conversations together, the idea that he could turn on her and be so manipulative was shocking. Although the second date was going well, things started to take a turn when he offered for her to come back to his apartment.
TikTok; pictured above is Alexis in her video
“He tells me he has to leave because he’s dog-sitting for his parents,” she explained. “He said, ‘You know, you can come back to their house if you want. We can hang out for a little bit.'”
This proposal didn’t appeal to her at all, and she let him know that she didn’t feel comfortable with doing that, she said.
She was wary of the fact that going back to his house with him would “have implications that I don’t want, cause I don’t want to sleep with you,” she explained.
She was clear about her boundaries and what she was comfortable doing versus what she really didn’t want to do.
“I’m just not interested in hooking up and like putting out that easy,” she told him.
He played into this at first, telling her that she didn’t have to worry about any of that because he was fine with just being together.
The problem with this response is the coercion that she felt forced to give into. She agreed to go with him, hoping that he was telling the truth.
However, the situation turned out to be worse than she expected when she got to his house.
“We’re like hanging out, making out, whatever– it’s fine,” she said. “He, like, tries to make me touch him, and I’m like, ‘oh, no, I’m not comfortable with that.'”
At the point where he should have stopped and apologized for making her uncomfortable, he instead chose to make her feel worse about her boundaries.
“Why? It’s not that big of a deal,” he asked her. “He like continued to try to like force my hand down, and I’m like, ‘no thank you, I’m ok.'”
She didn’t leave yet, hoping that he would listen to her and stop what he was doing. She was, unfortunately, so wrong.
“He tried to, like, take off my shirt,” she said. “I’m like, ‘oh, no, I don’t want to do any of that.'”
She had to repeat herself multiple times that she was not comfortable with what he was doing, and he still didn’t listen.
He got angry with her, she said and told her that she was the problem since it was “expected” that she move onto this after the second date.
“We’ve already hung out twice now,” he told her. “The expectation is on the third date you put out.”
While she tries to leave, she said that he “pulls me back on top of him and continues to try to force me into all of this.”
She gets herself out of his house, thankfully, and away from him after he makes fun of her for not doing what he wanted. She is continuously crying throughout the video, clearly traumatized by this dating incident. This kind of situation should never happen to anyone. Listen to someone when they give you their boundaries, and always respect them.
You can watch her video here.
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