How do we make this friendship work? Flexibility. We make sure to check in on each other’s life often. I don’t make the whole outing about marital life, and he doesn’t spend all his time talking about all the drinks he’s going to have over the weekend.
We find mutually enjoyable things to do and occasionally indulge in the other person’s lifestyle. Sam joins my wife and me on dinner and movie nights – something very mellow and relaxing. In return, a couple of weekends out of the month, we meet Sam at the bar and have a few shots, play some pool, and jam out. Finding a balance that acknowledges where each of you is in life will keep the friendship strong.
The second piece is forgiveness. When you and your friend are in different stages of life, plans will fall through. Maybe you’re a new parent, and your baby gets an eye infection, so you must cancel plans with your single friend. Perhaps that same single friend decides to skip out on your weekly coffee date to go to a last-minute concert. Having some forgiveness when plans fall through will do a lot for preserving unique friendships like these.
Sam and I are constantly canceling and rescheduling with each other, and we understand that we are just both in different stages of life. So we give each other a fair amount of grace and understanding. That is a big reason we are so close despite the age gap and stage of life.
So, what do you need to take away from this? Yes, you can absolutely be friends even if you are in different stages of life. All you need to do to make it work is: be flexible, be forgiving, celebrate your differences, and find common ground.
In the end, age and stage of life are irrelevant. None of that dictates true friendship. Respect where you are in life, and check in with each other as often as possible.
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