Katharina Buczek
Finally, she added, “My son has beautiful pouty lips, and you got stuck with those pencil lips. Oh, it’s really tough being a girl.”
Now, up until yesterday, he tried to take a softer approach to his wife’s comments– telling her to relax and just be nice. After she continued making those remarks, though, he eventually had enough and snapped.
First, he told his wife that he didn’t care if their daughter could not yet understand the comments. He just wanted her to stop projecting that negativity out into the universe.
Plus, he pointed out how his son can definitely understand the remarks, and he understands, too. So, he told her to quit putting those ideas in his head and forcing him to listen to the negativity.
After that, he claimed that life was very tough for girls in this world– but even more so when their mothers talked badly about their appearance.
“And she is freaking three weeks old and is still perfect and noble and hasn’t hurt a soul. Stop projecting on her,” he vented to his wife.
“You regularly tell me how your mom messed up your psyche with all her comments about your appearance. So, why are you doing the same to our baby girl?”
He wound up yelling all of these things at his wife for about five minutes straight– including some choice words, too.
So, afterward, his wife was pretty hurt by his comments. And they have not really spoken or debriefed the situation ever since.
He admitted to recognizing that some of her comments likely stem from her depression, anxiety, and post-partum depression. He also realizes that some of his wife’s beliefs might be a product of his mother-in-law’s influence on his wife’s mental health.
Finally, he knows that berating and screaming at people is rarely ever the right way to handle conflicts.
