Katharina Buczek
Regardless, the overall concept is true for everyone– life will always be a series of low and high points. And it is the balance of the maximums and minimums that equal out to result in our lived challenges, triumphs, and emerging mental state.
And because of this balance, it is impossible to achieve constant, unwavering happiness. It’s simply unrealistic since mistakes, failures, and disappointments are inevitable in life.
While this may seem all doom and gloom, though, it is actually a very good thing. If we as humans only ever experienced the “good,” we would become desensitized, expectant, complacent, and bored.
The mere fact that we struggle– experiencing loss, tragedy, obstacles, and heartbreak– is what allows us to truly feel and appreciate happiness, or the “high points,” when they occur.
With all of this being said, this very balance of life– the “yin and yang” of our existence, if you will– is why we have to stop searching for happiness.
In the pursuit of “happiness,” people often box themselves into a corner. They daydream, wonder, and fantasize about the wonderful feeling but are inevitably disappointed because nothing has actually changed in their life.
They may sit at their desk at work, daydreaming and resenting their current situation. Or, they might sit out on their front porch, staring out at the neighborhood and wishing that happiness would strike them like a lightning bolt.
If you have been guilty of this in the past, you likely just wound up disappointed. Happiness is not a wish that can be granted without any action or even a guaranteed feeling when situations– like employment, housing, or relationships– change.
So, if you are really interested in living a happier life, you have to stop actively searching for happiness. Instead, start asking yourself, “What can I do to be the happiest version of myself?”
At the end of the day, we are usually our own worst critics. But we can also be our own biggest motivators, cheerleaders, and catalysts.
Take a good, hard look at your life. Forget the things you cannot change and focus on the things you can.
