Katharina Buczek
Don’t Feel Guilty
If you feel like you need to cut some toxic people out of your life, stop feeling guilty about it. The length of your relationship, how closely your lives are already intertwined, the memories you share, and the love you feel for them just are not enough sometimes.
You have to remember that at the end of the day, your mental peace and comfort are more important. And you should never feel guilty about cutting someone out of your life who does not contribute to your overall well-being– because while you may be the person cutting off the relationship, they forced you to do so through their own choices, attitudes, and behaviors.
If you feel like you need to put yourself first, you should never feel guilty about that, either. First of all, you cannot be a fully present friend, partner, or parent without making sure your own needs are met first. Pouring from an empty cup is impossible.
So, stop listening to what other people think you should do or worrying about what others may think if you begin prioritizing yourself.
Only you have to live your life every single day, and only you can measure when your mental or physical health needs help. By practicing this self-awareness, you are being responsible– and that is nothing to feel guilty about.
In the process, you may feel bad for disappointing other people, sparking conflict, or simply having to say “no” sometimes. But you cannot let your fear of these situations paralyze you from making necessary changes in your life.
Sure, making a career swap, deciding to move, setting new boundaries, or realizing you need to make any number of other switches in your life may not line up with what your friend, parent, or partner believes is best. At the end of the day, though, you cannot worry about disappointing them.
It may sound cheesy, but it’s true: this is your only life. So what’s the point in pursuing other people’s ideas about how you should live out your existence if they only make you miserable? Your happiness is important, and you should never feel guilty for standing behind that.
On a similar note, saying “no” and making changes may spark conflict. When you stand your ground and state your needs, you might encounter pushback. And this can be terrifying– especially coming from the people who you love the most.
If prioritizing your happiness and communicating your needs makes your loved ones angry, though, that is far from your fault. And if that happens, you may need to reevaluate your inner circle to figure out who really has your best interest in mind.
