Quite frankly, though, it’s not.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that if you fall in love with someone, you can’t feel an undeniable connection and draw to them.
But love and true compatibility doesn’t rely on this magnetism alone. Instead, this is just an obsessive loop cycle that can manifest due to a variety of reasons based on the person.
So, let’s go over three of the most common reasons why you might get obsessed with your love interests– as well as how to break the cycle.
Why You Are Obsessive
Our subconscious takes the fall for a lot of humans’ flaws and faults– from bias and self-criticism to unhealthy habits. To add to that list, it is also sometimes responsible for our obsession with other people.
Allow me to explain. While you may not actively think about past experiences– whether good or traumatic– every day, your subconscious never forgets. And these instances that shaped us are what drive our motivations and actions.
That’s why, if you had a painful relationship in the past, your mind tends to search for situations that mirror that experience. It sounds counterintuitive, I know. But stay with me.
Let’s say you go out on a first date. During this encounter, you and your date are mentally taking stock of everything about each other– from appearance and tone of voice to interests and hand gestures.
You may not realize it, but sometimes, our subconscious picks up on traits or characteristics that align with past trauma. Afterward, this realization sparks a strange process that pushes us to latch on.
Now, you’re probably wondering, “Why would I be attracted to someone who reminds me of a hurtful past relationship?” Well, it’s due to a bit of somewhat (un)logical reasoning.