Katharina Buczek
1. Neediness
When we were kids, we learned the difference between “wants” and “needs.” We might have wanted concert tickets to see our favorite artist or a brand new pair of shoes that “everyone” at school seemed to be wearing.
But all we really needed was food, water, shelter, and people around us who cared for us.
While this example may seem very basic, it is a perfect metaphor for one dating flaw: neediness.
When someone acts needy, they often feel incomplete– trying to fill an emotional void with male validation or co-dependency.
Needing a relationship could not be more different than wanting one, though. And potential partners will likely run for the hills if they realize you aren’t in it for the latter.
Potential partners hope to feel wanted and appreciated for exactly who they are. When neediness comes into play, though, they might feel pressured to constantly make you feel good or fill some space in your life– which just isn’t fair.
This can make a relationship feel more like a chore and push your partner to believe they are just there to serve you.
So, if you realize that you might exhibit some needy tendencies, it is time to assess your own sense of worth. Oftentimes, people who are needy suffer from low self-esteem and believe that a relationship will fill that hole.
But relationships only amplify issues– not make them disappear. This means that if you feel dissatisfied before a relationship, you will likely feel the same way during your partnership.
So the first thing you can do while single is work on a different kind of relationship– the one you have with yourself. Focus on healing your own mental health and feeling good about yourself without anyone else’s help.
