Chip Chick
Most conflicts have nuances and layers, and rarely is there an objective reality where only one of you is right and valid. Be sure you each validate the experiences and feelings of the other. That makes resolving a conflict a little easier if you both know the other is open and understanding of where you are at the moment.
#3: You Both Need To Be Flexible
Every relationship comes with some compromise. You do not need to compromise on everything or make the relationship one-sided to work. However, you both need to be willing to bend on some issues to provide security and happiness to your partner.
Both of you need to be flexible and willing to make compromises. If one of you is hell-bent on having everything done your way, that relationship is unlikely to last.
#4: The Goal Is To Make Things Better, Not Worse
Keep in mind that conflicts are meant to be resolved in a way that brings you both peace, happiness, and security. Making yourself or your partner feel bad for arguing in the first place will not help matters.
Remember that the goal is to make the relationship better. Take steps to resolve things peacefully. Be mindful to practice active listening and be respectful during the argument.
#5: It Is Okay To Press Pause
If things have begun to escalate, and one or both of you are triggered, you are then reacting out of fear and defensiveness. This will never lead to productive solutions. It is perfectly okay to pause and take a breather when things escalate.
For example, if one of you is yelling or talking over the other, or name-calling has come up, it’s time to say something like, “I cannot communicate respectfully right now. I need to take some space to calm down so we can have a respectful conversation because I love you, and I don’t want to say/do something I will regret.”
Hitting pause on a fight is always better than falling into a hurtful screaming match where you are trying to win the fight rather than resolve it.
