Abby Connolly
“However, she has a way of requesting other things that really bothers me.”
His wife has become very passive-aggressive with him. For instance, instead of asking them to please clean their bathroom, she’ll start complaining and gets snappy, saying things like “the toilet smells” until he cleans it up.
If he doesn’t pick up on what his wife wants immediately, she starts insulting him and tells him he’s not a good enough husband. His wife has also told him he should always know what she wants him to do.
The other day, he asked her if she could be more polite in how she speaks to him. He wanted her to stop ordering him around and told her he’d be more likely to help her if she said ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’
He reminded his wife that it doesn’t take much to be kind, and a change in his demeanor would benefit them both. However, his wife was not pleased with his suggestion.
She started crying and told him she was just being her real self. Then, she surprisingly told him she wished he could be like a programmed robot that would do anything she told him to.
He’s been baffled about all of this, considering that when she’s around friends and family, she’s nothing but polite and sweet, even during her pregnancy.
“As her husband, I get her ‘real self,’ which is negative, demanding, distant, and always impolite,” he said.
When he asked her why she’s been treating him differently than everyone else, she started using her heritage as an excuse.
She told him that women usually treat their husbands this way in her culture. Then, she told him she should’ve married a man with the same background as her because he couldn’t handle her negativity due to his Western upbringing.
He’s starting to realize that her behavior will not be temporary due to her pregnancy and that he might have to continue dealing with her demands for the rest of their marriage.
