She Ended Their Friendship After 21 Years When She Realized Her Best Friend Was The Most Toxic Person In Her Life

Chip Chick |

May 19, 2023

Drobot Dean - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

Everyone hopes to have a friend that they can rely on, who will be there for them no matter what. Some people are lucky in that they find their true best friend early on in life. However, other people think that they know who their best friend is but find out later on that they’re the most toxic person in their life.

TikToker Monica Patterson,@monicagartner, tells a story just like this where she ended a friendship with someone after 21 years.

“My friend,” she began, “I’ve known her since kindergarten, and everything was fine until we got to high school.”

It seems as though high school is the roadblock in many people’s friendships that can sometimes be hard to get over. People change greatly from the adolescent years to the teenage years, and sometimes friendships can suffer because of that.

“She started to get the reputation of being the ‘boy stalker’ of the entire school,” she explained. “She would somehow find guys’ numbers, and she would message them–never getting the hint that they weren’t interested–and people just weren’t too keen on her because they were…afraid of her.”

Monica explained how her friend would go too far, frequently crossing inappropriate boundaries with other people. She even tried to take Monica’s sister’s boyfriend away from her.

“She actually messaged my sister’s boyfriend,” she said. “My sister’s boyfriend was with her, she met him for probably one second didn’t even say anything, messaged him on Facebook that night,” and introduced herself as an option, as though he was single.

In high school, it got even worse since she also went after the guy that Monica herself was interested in.

“She was hitting on the guy that I was talking to,” she said. “This is supposed to be my best friend.”

Drobot Dean – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

Although these were red flags from the start, they made up and moved on, as many friends do. Things took a turn for the worse, however, when they ended up going on to the same college.

“This is where things get really bad,” she said. “There were these two guys. I thought one was cute, she thought the other one was cute.”

When Monica and her friend were hanging out one night together and playing a game of pool, her friend’s crush walked in and came over to see them.

“He comes in, and he’s trying to be all flirtatious and says like, ‘Oh, like, can I play pool with you guys?'” she explained. “She walks away. She goes to sit down on the couch, and then she’s looking at me, like angrily.”

Monica just tries to ignore her friend’s bizarre behavior when the guy casually moves on and keeps flirting.

“The idiotic guy goes, ‘Oh, winner gets a kiss’,” she said. “This was the perfect setup!”

They ended up leaving after her friend didn’t respond to him, but in passing, they see Monica’s crush walking by. She waves to him, which, as she finds out later on in a long text message, made her friend mad.

Her friend was also mad that the guy who wanted to play pool with them suggested the kissing game.

Essentially, she was “describing how she’s upset because she thinks I’m pretty. She’s describing how she’s upset that the guy I think is cute waved at me,” she said. “She was directing her anger at me.”

If that wasn’t enough to break off the relationship, more toxic things happened between them in the future.

“I actually started talking to a guy at college,” she explained. “We weren’t dating, but we were seeing each other. This is where it gets really, really weird.”

Since she thought that she had found someone that she really liked, her friend’s interference wasn’t even on her mind.

“Things are going well with this guy, he’s literally sleeping over,” she explained. “She literally has the audacity to text me one day and go, ‘Hey, so I think I think me, you, and blank, should go on a vacation together. Maybe we can share him’ … she literally, to a T, wrote, ‘I can have him one night, you can have him the other.'”

As the good friend in the relationship, Monica explains how she got over that weird comment and tried to move on.

“I kinda let that slide because, again, I always took her back after a fight,” she said. “I ended up leaving the college, like, a few months later, I just wanted to do different things…she did not like this.”

She once again followed the exact same pattern that Monica did in trying to replicate her life but continued to behave weirdly when Monica found a new boyfriend that she wanted to introduce to her friend.

“She ended up leaving the school shortly after as well, and she kind of refused to ever meet my now husband,” she said. “Over this time, she was having a few different boyfriends, and she cheated on every single one of them–sometimes with their best friend.”

She was starting to come down to the final straw in their relationship and decided to begin backing away from their connection.

“This is when I started pushing away, ’cause I’m like, I don’t want to be friends with someone who has no remorse for something like that,” she said. “We decided to go on a little girls’ getaway upstate, and she is at the supermarket with me, and she goes, ‘What should we cook them for dinner tonight?'”

Confused, Monica inquires further about what her friend is referring to, given that they are away from home.

“This girl has the audacity to say that these two guys are coming over–one for me, one for her,” she said. “I said to her, ‘If you leave me alone with one of these men, I will never talk to you again’–thankfully, she did not.”

It still gets worse from here. Her friend just won’t leave her alone.

“Now, the next part is probably the worst thing that she has ever done, and I don’t know how I took her back after this–this should have been the last straw,” she explained.

She talks about how one of her other friends passed away, and not too long after that happened, her toxic friend wasn’t being respectful and was bad-mouthing the late friend to everyone.

“She messaged me, and she messaged my other friend and was like, ‘Hey, did you hear this is how she died?’– IT WASN’T EVEN CORRECT! It wasn’t even the way that she died, and she’s gossiping about it,” she explained.

When Monica told her that she was very upset by the fact that she had died, and her friend didn’t even care, she knew it was over.

“Throughout our entire friendship, she never once was there for me,” she said. “Every time she needed me, I dropped everything.”

Monica ended up trying to salvage the relationship one last time with her.

“It was around the time of my wedding,” she said. “So we were talking about my wedding, I was so excited. I obviously sent her the bridal shower invitation, and the wedding invitation– she did not come to either one. My best friend did not come to our wedding.”

Needless to say that Monica was finally done with her for good.

“I’m finally done, get rid of the toxic people in your life,” she said.