Do you conceal or change parts of yourself to please others? Do you have difficulty trusting yourself? And are you always stressed out?
If this sounds like you, you may be partaking in self-abandonment due to trauma. When you fail to see your own value and constantly put yourself down, you are abandoning who you are.
TikToker Talie (@taliemiller) is talking about what it means to abandon yourself and describing some of the signs of self-abandonment.
Abandoning yourself looks like people pleasing, hypervigilance, and addiction to stress. It also includes a dysregulated nervous system, dress rehearsing tragedy, managing people’s emotions, and just doing one more thing for the sake of checking off your to-do list.
How many of these signs ring true for you? Self-abandonment can begin early on in life. It’s a way of dealing with a lack of acceptance from family, friends, or classmates.
After facing rejection or experiencing unstable family dynamics, you might have learned to hide your true self to avoid ridicule or emotional pain.
And now this destructive pattern has followed you into adulthood. You don’t know how to be there for yourself or put yourself first.
For example, maybe you have just come home from a long day at work and are looking forward to relaxing. However, your friend calls and asks if they can come over to discuss their relationship problems.
Even though you really would rather be resting, you tell your friend to come over. In this case, you pushed your own needs and desires aside to accommodate someone else.