She Turned Down Her Boyfriend’s Proposal Because Getting Married Puts Her Income And Health Insurance On The Line

ID 22657153 - © Adogslifephoto - - illustrative purposes only

This 44-year-old woman has been divorced from her ex-husband, James, 47, for two years now.

She and James were married for 21 years, and they have four children together. They have three sons (21, 18, and 16-years-old) and a 19-year-old daughter.

Even though she and James argued a lot leading up to their divorce, the legal proceedings were less brutal than she originally thought they would be.

According to Massachusetts’ divorce laws, as James’ ex-wife, she was able to remain listed on his group health insurance plan. The judge who oversaw their case also ordered that because she’d been a stay-at-home mother for their children, she would continue receiving alimony payments, and the payments would only stop if she remarried.

“In terms of health insurance, I’d lose it if either James or I remarried. However, James has been very open about the fact that he hates the idea of marriage/marrying again even more than he hates me still being covered under his health insurance policy. His exact words were, ‘Well, luckily for you, it’s not emotionally or financially cost effective for me to marry just to get you off my health insurance,'” she said.

Throughout their marriage, she stayed home to raise their children because it wouldn’t have made sense financially to have their four children in daycare. When they did the math, they realized that she would never bring in enough income to make up for the costs of childcare.

Before they had children, she had worked as an administrative assistant, and today, if she had that same job, she’d be making $17 an hour. This arrangement worked, though, because her husband was a doctor, and they were able to remain financially stable.

Right after the divorce, she started dating her boyfriend, 45.

“My boyfriend and I are very much in love. In many ways, I wish I’d met him first. He’s empathetic, and unlike my ex, my values work-life balance instead of running between a private practice and the psych ward at a county hospital to work 24/7,” she explained.

ID 22657153 – © Adogslifephoto – – illustrative purposes only

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