This woman and her boyfriend, both in their 30s, have been dating for the last four months.
While she’s at work, her boyfriend is the only one who talks to her throughout the day. He only texts her and never calls her.
“The issue is that he is SUPER attached,” she said.
She isn’t usually on her phone too often, especially when she’s working, and she doesn’t want to change this. In the past, she kept her phone in her bag and didn’t check it much.
In her opinion, if there is an emergency, someone will call her rather than text. Given that, she doesn’t see an issue with responding to a text message five hours later once she’s done with work for the day. Plus, her job is extremely stressful, so she doesn’t usually have a lot of downtime to text while at work, even if she wants to.
“Two months ago, my boyfriend started demanding that I reply to his text messages during the workday. He said he can’t go more than four hours without hearing from me,” she explained.
While she’d understand her boyfriend’s need to hear from her if he was simply concerned about whether or not she was okay, she shares her location with him, so it has nothing to do with him worried about her well-being. Instead, her boyfriend has said that he needs constant texts from her because he needs assurance from her that she’s not angry with him. Apparently, along with his unhealthy attachment style, he also has issues with anxiety and potentially wanting to have control.
In response, she told him that she would do her best to text him more often while she was working, but she also requested that he go to therapy to develop a healthier attachment style. She was concerned and said that his behavior wasn’t healthy for their relationship.
Then, her boyfriend said that he couldn’t afford it, so she offered to pay for half of his therapy bills to ensure that he actually followed through with getting therapy.