Due to feeling bullied by her partner’s ex, she has seen a therapist to work through the pain that she experienced. She and her therapist came up with some helpful strategies for her to try to set some limitations.
She told her partner that she no longer wanted him to think that she could have any sort of connection with his ex, and she would no longer be doing anything to help out his ex in relation to their children.
Her partner appreciated her perspective and agreed to the line she drew to protect her emotional health.
Usually, her partner’s children are with them from Sunday through Wednesday, and then his ex has custody from Wednesday through Sunday.
Recently, his ex asked him if they could switch their custody days with each other. But this wouldn’t work for her partner because he specifically scheduled his days off work to be when he has custody of his children (he does work on Sundays, but she watches his children for him, which she has no issue with), so on the days that his ex currently has custody, he works all day long.
With the custody schedule changes that her partner’s ex asked for, by the time his children would be done with school, he’d already be heading to work, and once he got home, his children would be asleep.
Because of this, she would be the one watching her partner’s children for the entire four days that he has custody, besides when he can be there to drop his children off at school each morning.
“My significant other asked me if we could accommodate his ex’s schedule change request, and I said no. Especially after she threw tantrums about how she didn’t want the kids with just me while my significant other was at work. He seemed to have accepted it at first, but a few hours later expressed he would like it if the kids could stay with us,” she shared.
She told him that the only time he’d even be able to see his children on this new custody schedule would be when he dropped off his children at school in the morning. But he said that he still thought it would be beneficial for his children to spend time with her.
This turned into a fight, and now she feels like he views her as the bad guy who is preventing him from spending time with his children.
Also, she is in school full-time to become a nurse, and she studies a lot during the week. Throughout the relationship with her partner, she has done her best to balance studying as well as hanging out with her partner and his children when he has custody.