If You Find Yourself Giving More Than You’re Getting In Your Relationship, You Could Be A People Pleaser, And Here Are A Few Reasons Why That Can Damage The Romance

Nastassia Yakushevic - illustrative purposes only, not the actual people

The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer, Abby Connolly.

Sometimes, it can be really hard to admit that you’re a people pleaser. Regarding romantic relationships, it can be tempting to fall into people pleasing habits in hopes of getting someone to stick around. 

In order to avoid conflict or prevent problems, many of us focus solely on being nice and nurturing, which could lead to suppressing how we really feel. Although it’s important to treat your partner with kindness, love, and appreciation, it’s so important to avoid acting like a people pleaser around them so you can protect your peace. 

If you’re entering a relationship or find yourself in a relationship where you feel like you’re giving more than you’re getting, here are some reasons why being a people pleaser can damage your romantic relationships.

You’re not being authentic.

Finding love is all about finding someone you can be your true self with. Of course, in the earlier days of a relationship, we are often so focused on making a good impression, and it’s normal not to be completely comfortable yet. 

But if the relationship grows and you’re still putting on a “nice” face 24/7, catering more to your partner than you do yourself, that’s not authentic and not how you want to live.

You can’t set boundaries.

If you’re constantly doing things for your partner and giving them everything they want when they want it, you’re not setting personal boundaries. You’re essentially giving your partner permission to walk all over you whenever they want, which is not okay and can be detrimental to a relationship.

Nastassia Yakushevic – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people

Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered straight to your inbox.

1 of 2