She’s Allowing Her Mother-In-Law To See Her Newborn Baby But Not Her Own Mom And Got Accused Of Being Hypocritical
This 25-year-old woman and her husband, also 25, are going to have their first child in a couple of weeks.
For both sides of their families, this will be the first grandchild, so everyone is thrilled and excited for the birth.
“We live multi-generationally with my husband’s family. We all live on a large property together. My husband’s grandparents, parents, and siblings all live here as well. His grandparents live in their own detached apartment, while my husband and I live in a large apartment in their finished basement. We have our own entrance, kitchen, laundry, and three bedrooms. His siblings and parents live upstairs from us,” she said.
She feels incredibly lucky that she has the chance to be able to take care of her child with such a huge support system around her living so close.
Not long ago, she texted her family in a group chat to let them know the boundaries that she and her husband were putting into place after the baby was born. She told them that they weren’t allowing hospital visitors, and they wouldn’t be inviting anyone over for the first two weeks after the birth.
They are extending these rules to her husband’s family as well because she can already anticipate that she won’t want to hang out with them right after having the baby.
“The exception to this rule is that I know if I need any support or help, I will ask my mother-in-law, who can quickly come downstairs. I trust my mother-in-law not to intrude on this special time, but I know she will be a great resource and support person,” she explained.
Throughout the years, she has developed a close bond with her mother-in-law, and she doesn’t have a good relationship with her own mother.
She keeps low contact with her mother and only lets her come over a couple of times a year. Before maintaining a couple of yearly visits, she didn’t want to see her mother at all, but her husband persuaded her to see her sparingly. Unfortunately, her mother has always been unaccommodating and cruel to her husband.
Trendsetter Images – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
However, her husband is an angel and tries to help prevent her from losing any relationship she has with her mother entirely.
“My mom was extremely upset at this message. She told me that it was unfair that my mother-in-law would be able to ‘bond’ with my baby while she wouldn’t get the same privilege. She said that I was being hypocritical for saying I wouldn’t allow visitors except my mother-in-law. I told her that I was sorry she felt that way but that my mother-in-law isn’t technically a visitor,” she shared.
She acknowledged that her mother-in-law lives in the same home, while her mother lives 45 minutes away. Due to this, she doesn’t want her mother to come over and have to worry about socializing when she should be paying all of her attention to her baby.
In her view, she would love to have a motherly figure throughout her first experiences after having her baby, and she would want that person to be her mother-in-law, not her mother.
Upon reflection, she wonders if she is being fair with the boundaries she is setting for everyone else but allowing an exception for her mother-in-law.
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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