She Doesn’t Want To Force Her Stepdaughter To Meet Up With Her Birth Mother, Who Has Been An Absent Parent For Years, But Her Husband Has A Different Opinion
This 30-year-old woman has known her stepdaughter since she was 5 years old. Now, her stepdaughter is about to turn 13.
“She calls me ‘Mommy’ and introduces me as her ‘mom’ to her friends,” she said. On the other hand, her stepdaughter’s birth mother lives overseas and hardly ever talks to her.
In the past, her stepdaughter’s birth mother and her stepdaughter weren’t in communication for two years because her birth mother never called.
The last time her stepdaughter’s birth mother came to visit was in 2019, when she spent one week seeing her daughter and one week with friends in the area.
“In short, she’s an absentee. My stepdaughter opened up to me, saying she doesn’t want to communicate with her birth mother because she feels like she’s a stranger to her,” she explained.
“Three months ago, I helped my stepdaughter to open up to her birth mother about what she feels, and that’s going to help improve their relationship if the birth mother is aware of what’s going on.”
For about a week or so, her birth mother was responsive, but after that, she didn’t answer for three months.
The next time her birth mother reached out, she told her that she was flying back for a visit and asked if she wanted to get together.
She and her partner asked her stepdaughter what her thoughts were about the idea, and she said she didn’t want to see her birth mother while she was in the country visiting.
Natalia Chircova – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Then, her stepdaughter started crying hysterically, saying she felt guilty for not wanting to see her birth mother.
When she thought about it, she knew that if she wanted to, she could persuade her stepdaughter to change her mind because her stepdaughter would respect her views and act accordingly.
However, she acknowledged that for so many years, her stepdaughter has had to put in so much effort to keep a relationship going with her birth mother, who didn’t do enough for her in return.
“She can’t do anything if her birth mother doesn’t communicate all these years, and if she remembers to chat, my stepdaughter is always expected to reply. I think it’s unfair on her part since it’s supposed to be her birth mother’s obligation and responsibility to have good communication with her daughter,” she shared.
Her partner views the situation differently. He believes that if her stepdaughter got together with her birth mother, she could attempt to find answers to questions she’s held onto all of these years.
If her stepdaughter asked some of these questions, she could potentially learn more about why her birth mother has been distant for so long, and this could maybe provide her stepdaughter with some sort of “closure,” or as close to it as one could hope for.
At the same time, her partner said that if his daughter was completely against the idea of seeing her birth mother, he wouldn’t make her do anything she didn’t want to.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
More About:Relationships