She Needs Her Mom, And Her Mom Needs Her, So She’s Spending Christmas On The Other Side Of The Country And Leaving Her Husband At Home
This 39-year-old woman lives on the opposite side of the country from her family. She does have an older brother who lives much closer to home than she does, though he still needs to hop on a plane to get there.
Sadly, her dad passed away this fall after battling pancreatic cancer, and her 73-year-old mom is currently not doing well herself.
Her mom is having problems with her memory and language, and it’s a struggle for her mom to understand certain words or recall the names of things she uses every day.
After her dad passed away, her mom cognitively declined, and she is in the middle of getting a diagnosis; it’s either dementia or Alzheimer’s.
To add to the heartbreak, a week before Thanksgiving, her 42-year-old friend unexpectedly passed away, which devastated her.
Then, when Thanksgiving arrived, she and her husband stayed at home and had a quiet holiday with her in-laws while her own family was together across the country.
So, it’s super important to her to be able to fly home for Christmas, especially since she has two whole weeks off from work.
Her mom’s birthday is also a couple of days before Christmas, and her birthday is on New Year’s Day, and she would like to be with her family to celebrate.
She also is going to help her mom get their family home ready to be put on the market and then plan out where her mom will live from there.
Ilona – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
The problem comes down to the fact that it’s super expensive for her to fly home for Christmas, and her husband doesn’t like to spend money.
“However, I don’t really care how much it costs right now – my mom needs me,” she explained. “I also need my mom.”
“I’m reeling from 2 deaths in 2 months, plus her biggest challenge is communicating and using technology (so even FaceTime is tricky), and I don’t know how much time we have left with her.”
“My husband is saying I’m being “selfish for leaving him alone at Christmas and deal with the dog and house.” He thinks it’s enough that my brother is going to be there with her and that we were just there twice (for my dad’s final breaths and subsequent funeral), so we should go sometime in January or February.”
Technically speaking, her husband will not exactly be home alone since his one brother and parents live super close, and his other brother will be in town for three weeks.
She has told her husband he is more than welcome to come with her and that it’s no problem for them to find someone to watch their dog while they’re away. Unfortunately, her husband just complained about it costing too much money to travel and he doesn’t think it will be a vacation for him, since he thinks the bed in her old bedroom is too small.
Instead, her husband requested that they book a proper vacation somewhere for the holidays, but he doesn’t want to fly to spend time with her mom.
“I could structure the travel dates to leave for 10 days and still see his family that’s visiting and be back before my birthday,” she said.
“So we’d still have time together while I’m off work/celebrate together. Regardless, to him – if I go, I’m being selfish. But I disagree because it’s not about him right now. So should I book a ticket, or am I a jerk who should put my husband higher up on my priority list?”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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