Her Mother-In-Law Kept Flinging Her Daughter Around, So She Kicked Her Out And Said She Could Never Hold Her Baby Again
This 30-year-old woman and her husband, also 30, have a 4-month-old daughter. Her mother-in-law, 64, has been causing issues for them ever since their daughter was born. About five or six days after she had her daughter, her husband’s mother came over to see her for the first time.
“The way she held my baby was ridiculous: Facedown with her head sideways, my mother-in-law’s hand on her head and no other support, my daughter’s legs pointed up toward my mother-in-law’s elbow, and swinging her back and forth, fast enough to give her the startle reflex repeatedly while screaming,” she said.
Evidently, her husband’s mother thought her daughter’s fear was hysterical because she was laughing as the baby screamed. So, she intervened and took her baby away from her mother-in-law, firmly telling her that she wasn’t allowed to ever do that to her daughter again.
In response, her mother-in-law told her that since she’s had four children of her own, she knows how to handle babies. Her husband’s mother didn’t try to see her perspective or take her feelings into consideration.
“I didn’t let her hold her again until she was two months old. Same thing. As soon as she is able to hold my daughter again, she starts flinging her around in the same position. I immediately take her back and say, ‘Obviously, you haven’t learned your lesson. I told you that you weren’t to hold my daughter like that,'” she explained.
She continued, explaining that she didn’t think it was humorous to watch her baby scream at the top of her lungs while she was dangerously swinging her around without carefully and delicately supporting her daughter’s body. Then, she told her husband and his mother that she wouldn’t allow his mother to hold their baby again until she learned to respect her boundaries and rules.
Even though her husband understood why his mother’s behavior made her uncomfortable, he was frustrated because, from his perspective, she was cutting off his mother. In response, she reiterated that his mother could hold their daughter again when she agreed to respect her boundaries, and he told her that he was on the same page about this.
Before she and her husband were married, she had no idea that his mother was this disrespectful. They didn’t see her often because she lived more than an hour away. However, now they only live five minutes apart, so it’s been a nightmare seeing her all the time.
After the second argument, her mother-in-law continued coming over to visit. Two months later, since her mother-in-law had been on her best behavior for quite a while, she decided to allow her another chance to hold her baby.
olenachukhil – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
Unfortunately, her husband’s mother repeated her unsafe methods of holding her daughter, flipping the baby so that she was facing the floor, only supporting her baby’s neck and not supporting her head or the rest of her body. Like the previous occurrences, her daughter began shrieking, moving her arms around because she was scared.
She pointed out that her daughter isn’t colic and barely ever cries. The rare times she does cry is due to exhaustion, and she is able to relax her daughter in only a few seconds.
The only time she’s ever heard her daughter shriek is when her mother-in-law holds her, regardless of whether she’s swinging her around or holding her normally. In her view, it’s alarming when her daughter, who rarely cries, shrieks whenever her mother-in-law holds her.
“My mother-in-law again starts laughing and saying, ‘Ooh, such a scared baby. It’s because your momma doesn’t play with you.’ I took my baby from her arms, told her to leave, and said she would not be holding her ever again. She asked why, and I said it was because she once again is being disrespectful and laughing at my daughter being scared,” she shared.
By this point, she had enough of her mother-in-law roughhousing with her baby. Her husband’s mother then looked at him, told him that she wouldn’t be visiting them anymore, and walked out.
Once his mother was gone, her husband argued with her about her decision to kick his mother out of their house. He was furious and told her that she was severing ties with his mother because she was afraid, and he assured her that their baby was in no danger.
Her husband repeated what his mother once said about how she took care of her own four children, and he assumed that she probably roughhoused with all of them, claiming that he and his siblings all “turned out fine.” But her husband’s perspective didn’t make her doubt her decision not to allow his mother to hold their child again.
She doesn’t think that it’s relevant that her mother-in-law had four children because the way she held her baby was unsafe. This situation has made her realize that her husband is a “mommy’s boy.”
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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