His Girlfriend’s Refusing To Be A Stay-At-Home Mom Because She Believes That He Will Just Mistreat Her Once He Has All Of The Financial “Power”
This man and his girlfriend have been dating for the last three years, and they moved in together two years ago. Lately, they’ve been talking about getting married someday. They both work as software engineers, and each earns six-figure salaries. Plus, they each own houses. Since they’re living in his house, his girlfriend is renting out her house.
His girlfriend’s job has been exhausting lately, and she’s been venting about her exhaustion. He mentioned that when they have children, she could be a stay-at-home mother, but she rejected the idea, and he thought she turned the option down because she wanted to continue her career through motherhood and didn’t think much of it.
One of his girlfriend’s friends is mulling over the idea of being a stay-at-home mother, and she and her friend have had multiple conversations about the topic both on the phone and in person. He recently overheard his girlfriend talking to her friend, discouraging her from becoming a stay-at-home mom.
“Over the phone, she told her, ‘Don’t do it. He’s going to be abusive, and then your life will be ruined. At least work part-time. You said your job will accommodate,'” he said.
After his girlfriend got off the phone, he asked if her friend’s husband displayed abusive behavior, and she said he didn’t as of right now. He was confused by this and asked her for further clarification.
“She said she believes if one person has financial power over another, they will no longer respect the other person and probably will end up abusing them,” he explained.
Her response stunned him, and when he asked if this was why she turned down the idea of being a stay-at-home mother, she affirmed this.
Then, he questioned why she believed he would suddenly begin abusing her, and she explained that she doesn’t believe he’s currently abusive and doesn’t believe he’d become abusive if they both continued their careers.
However, in his girlfriend’s view, men are constantly fed the idea that most women are with men for their money, so this has allowed men to disregard the amount of effort it takes to be a stay-at-home mother.
Alberto – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
According to her belief, these men who don’t accept how tough raising children is will, over time, become resentful and disrespectful toward their spouses.
She was furious when he said he agreed with her about how much work it takes to be a stay-at-home mom, accusing him of pretending to agree. From there, she added that tons of men say the same thing until their wives are financially dependent on them, after which they become bitter having to provide for their wives.
“They see them making money as their authority and will begin making decisions without their wife’s input. She said she knows so many stay-at-home moms that have had their lives ruined,” he shared.
Several of his girlfriend’s stay-at-home mom friends resigned from jobs where they earned impressive salaries, returning to work several years later, only for their spouses to disrespect their choices to start working again, often even having affairs.
His girlfriend stated that since this same scenario has played out over and over, she knows she’s not just making it up in her head.
So, she chose to take these lessons to heart and refuse to become a stay-at-home mom. She didn’t want to end up in the same situation.
Her views infuriated him, and he expressed to her that her “trust issues” didn’t mean that all men are automatically evil.
In addition, he told her that a lot of men enjoy providing for their wives who choose to raise their kids full-time.
After that, his girlfriend reiterated that it’s easy to say the right things that she wanted to hear at the moment, and she didn’t want to discuss the topic any further.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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