This woman and her girlfriend, both in their 30s, have been in a relationship for five years. Her girlfriend is five years older than her, and they moved in together two years ago. They both have jobs in demanding, high-stress fields.
Last year, her girlfriend accepted a new position because the job she had prior was causing her a lot of anxiety. Since her girlfriend has been venting about her job so much, she persuaded her to search for something else. However, this new job has been tough as well.
Over the past year, her girlfriend endlessly vents about her job. The moment her girlfriend gets out of bed, she whines about how she didn’t get a restful sleep and that she can’t stand having to wake up and go to work every day.
Even when her girlfriend leaves for work, the complaining doesn’t stop. She’s bombarded with text messages throughout the entire day with complaints from her girlfriend about how anxious she is due to her job. After her girlfriend gets home for the night, she rants for hours on end. She whines about her job almost all the time.
“Weekends are just Sunday scaries from Saturday night. I have given her endless practical advice to improve her situation at work,” she said.
She has taken the initiative to book them massages and hotel getaways, and she also wakes up before her girlfriend so that she can make her coffee and bring it to her right when she gets up in the morning. Also, she helps pack things her girlfriend needs for the day to help make her morning go more smoothly.
It doesn’t seem to her like her girlfriend has taken any of her words of wisdom to heart. Unfortunately, her girlfriend doesn’t usually put in the same amount of effort to support her or make kind gestures in return. She uses a lot of her energy trying to cheer up her girlfriend, and it’s exhausting.
“I am a bit of an emotional sponge and grew up with a parent who made our lives a nightmare if they had a bad day at work, which was always, so this whole situation is hard for me,” she explained.
Several months ago, she couldn’t handle her girlfriend’s constant venting anymore, so she suggested that her girlfriend attend therapy. She researched therapists in their area and sent her all the information she found. Her girlfriend assured her she would look through the information and take the next steps toward going to therapy, but she never followed through on her promise.