Her Husband’s Mom Babied Him So Badly, It’s Destroying Their Marriage
It’s been over a decade that this 28-year-old woman has been married to her 33-year-old husband, but it’s only now dawning on her that her husband is the literal definition of weaponized incompetence.
Her husband pretends he’s unable to do certain things around the house, which has forced her to take on basically all responsibilities.
She used to beg her husband to help in the beginning, even in a small way, and he would promise to, only to let her down.
She has two siblings and growing up, she learned how to be responsible and do chores to keep their home in sparkling condition.
As for her husband, he was essentially the only kid in his home, as his sister is 10 years older than he is.
But that’s not the largest contrast going on when you take into consideration her family vs. her husband’s family.
“The big difference between our families is money,” she explained. “He grew up with a maid… and anything the maid didn’t do, his mother did. He had no chores, no responsibilities.”
“I was young and naive when we got married and assumed that he would grow up. That he would share the housework and not leave me with literally everything.”
It’s not that she anticipated her husband would do half, and she would take the other half of the workload.
Andreshkova Nastya – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
She would have been happy with a 90/10 split, with her doing the majority of the work. Unfortunately, her husband has gone years without doing a single thing.
She tried her best not to put up with all of this, and she and her husband argued nonstop about the housework division or lack thereof.
To this day, they still fight about the chores, but it doesn’t happen as often since she’s given up on changing her husband.
Taking that into consideration and adding she was diagnosed with severe depression at the age of six, she doesn’t get why her husband can’t just pitch in.
Her husband has watched her battle her mental health, and having to take on all of the responsibilities in their house doesn’t help her any.
“The house has fallen into disarray because I can’t keep up with it,” she said. “It’s a 3 bedroom because our plans were for two children.”
“It’s just us and our 2 cats. Why? Because I couldn’t raise a child on my own. Married, but in nearly every way, I feel single. I feel alone throughout everything all the time.”
She finally threatened to divorce her husband last week, but she didn’t mean it, as she has nowhere else to go and no one to turn to.
After those words left her mouth, her husband got up out of his seat and walked over to clean up some dishes.
Her mouth fell open, as that marked the very first time her husband has done a single thing around their home.
When her husband finished up, he sat there waiting for her to issue some kind of praise to him for his hard work.
Instead of making her feel better, it only made her feel worse. Her husband will never change. There’s no chance.
Since then, anytime she asks her husband not to make a pyramid of soda cans next to their bed or to stop flushing food down the drain as it makes their house smell, her husband pushes back and points out he did the dishes exactly one time.
“This man got a job from his mother at 16, at a business she owned, in a position that she created for him,” she added.
“She has paid him weekly regardless of whether he shows up or not. For the record now, he hasn’t been to work in nearly a year, so I don’t want to hear that, “He has a job, and you’re at home,” because no. He does not.”
“I just feel like I’m in such a bad place now, and I feel completely trapped. I don’t want to leave; I just want things to be better. I want him to hear me. I want him to care about how stressed I constantly am. I feel like I am starting to harbor resentment, and I just don’t know what to do. Please help.”
She blames her husband’s mom for babying him so badly that it’s destroying their marriage. If his mom bothered to teach him some semblance of responsibility, she knows they wouldn’t be in this position.
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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