His Wife Asked For An Open Marriage So She Can Be Free To See Women

goodluz - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
goodluz - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

A little less than two months ago, this 42-year-old man’s 40-year-old wife revealed to him that she likes women and would like to open up their marriage so she can explore that.

He’s spent 21 years with his wife, and they have been married for 15 years. They have two kids together, both boys. He says their marriage is strong, and they have weathered their fair share of storms together.

Their oldest son has social and learning disabilities, as well as congenital heart disease. His dad has frequently been in the hospital lately. His job has been incredibly stressful. There’s a lot going on in their lives, not all good.

Now, his wife has never been extremely attracted to men. While she insists she thinks he’s handsome (which he doesn’t agree with), he knows his wife isn’t that into guys. So when she told him she likes women too, he wasn’t that surprised.

“To me, it’s just labels. You either love me or you don’t,” he explained. “About 4 months ago, our oldest was having a really hard time and being very disrespectful.”

“That situation ended up ballooning into a massive argument between me and her. She said this “family dynamic isn’t working!” at the end of the fight, and I was devastated. She asked me to go to therapy. I have been yelling at my oldest a lot at the time).”

He did start seeing a therapist, and his wife did, too. At the same time this was all happening, his wife started getting close to a new 27-year-old female friend of hers.

His wife was constantly talking to her friend to the point where he started to get jealous of the amount of attention his wife was bestowing on this other woman.

But then, out of nowhere, his wife asked if they could add a woman to their personal life. He was shocked and said he wasn’t exactly comfortable with it.

goodluz – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

His wife asked once more, and he said he would think about it. From there, his wife jumped to ask if she could sleep with someone else by herself, and he was greatly upset by this.

He thinks that’s cheating, even if his wife was talking about being with a woman and not a man. His wife got hurt by his opinion, but he figured she was trying to push some boundaries.

A month after his wife made that request, she sat him down one day and began sobbing. She confessed she might only be into women and needed to see for herself by sleeping with women.

That broke his heart, but he asked for time to think it over. That conversation sent him into a downward spiral.

He told his wife that he wanted to stay with her, and ever since, they have had quite a few candid discussions.

Two weeks after that major conversation, he caught his wife being secretive about her phone and after putting the pieces together, realized his wife had to be falling for her female best friend she was glued to the hip with.

“I confronted her, and she admitted she developed feelings for her, but she told her friend they needed space to work on her marriage with me,” he added.

“I do believe her there, but now I am completely lost on what to do regarding the open marriage. She still texts her friend, but it’s not like it has been before. Her friend knows she had some feelings for her, and she didn’t feel the same.”

“My wife would have chosen our marriage according to her, but I know she was a little sad it wasn’t reciprocated. Her friend wanted to watch our kid’s little league game, and I told my wife that was way too soon and I would be very uncomfortable. I told her to decide what is best, and she told her friend not to come.”

At the end of the month, he and his wife are going to attend counseling together. His wife has been sweet and honest with him, and she thinks their marriage has improved lately.

He’s not sure he agrees. He doesn’t see how he can survive an open marriage, so he’s wondering if this is the end for him and his wife.

“This whole thing has completely upended my mental health,” he continued. “I am starting on anti-depressants, and I am not sleeping. I am ashamed at how little I stick up for myself, but she is my best friend and the love of my life.”

What advice do you have for him?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.

Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology. ... More about Bre Avery Zacharski

More About: