Her Sister-In-Law Thinks She’s Wrong For Saying Her Birth Parents Are Awful People, Since They Dumped Her In Foster Care And Blamed Her For The Loss Of Her Brother
Recently, this woman got into an argument with her sister-in-law about her birth parents. Her sister-in-law feels she’s wrong to not allow her biological parents to be in her life, if they ever wake up one day and want that.
Her sister-in-law thinks that’s just cruel of her, but she doesn’t care, because she knows that what they did was wrong.
When she was six-years-old, she and her three little siblings were taken away from her biological parents and put separately into foster care.
“I was devastated and spent over a year begging to go home to my parents and siblings. I was bounced around a lot and was considered difficult to place because of my desire to go home,” she explained.
“Even though I didn’t have the happiest memories of my birth family the younger me was very attached to them all and didn’t really care that I was somewhat neglected and ignored. To me they were my family and I loved them.”
Eighteen months after she was placed in foster care, her caseworker reprimanded her for wanting to go home to her mom and dad.
Her caseworker insisted this was why families were turning her down for adoption. She admitted to her caseworker that she missed her mom and dad.
Her caseworker then revealed her mom and dad had taken all of her little siblings back, yet decided to leave her in foster care.
“She told me to accept that and move on and stop wanting them. I don’t know why she told me that and expected it to help but it broke something inside of me, and for most of my life I was left wondering why and struggling with the reality,” she added.
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At 9-years-old, she got adopted, and her new parents stood by her even though other people considered her to be a burden.
She knows she has a lot to thank them for, but their love didn’t make up for the damage she suffered before they entered her life.
Later on, she found out that the caseworker hadn’t been lying to her all those years ago and that her birth parents took her siblings back and dumped her off in foster care.
“Apparently they had gone to therapy and “worked on their issues” but willingly chose not to do the same for me,” she said.
“In my mid-20s when I got engaged to my husband and we agreed we wanted a family, I decided I needed to find some degree of closure or try to at least, because therapy alone wasn’t enough to stop that little girl inside from crying and wondering why she wasn’t wanted as well.”
She tried to look her biological family up, and she located a cousin who spent a lot of time with her before she was given away.
Her cousin informed her that her biological parents and siblings have no interest in speaking to her. Not only that, but they basically hate her in their household.
Apparently, she was a twin, and her brother was stillborn. After that, her biological parents slipped into deep depressions and failed to properly care for all of their kids.
After attending therapy, her biological parents knew they would like to step up for their littlest kids, but not her.
“But I was still who they blamed. My birth siblings knew the story and my cousin had attempted to show them how [messed] up it was but they hated me and saw me as a waste of their time,” she continued.
“Hearing the story, finding out the truth, and even seeing the grave where they had called him a big brother to our three younger birth siblings but no mention of me was difficult. I did struggle for a while.”
Her family and her husband supported her, and she managed to let that all go. She got that closure she was looking for, and she and her husband postponed their wedding so that she could work on her healing journey.
She now has children of her own, and she’s extremely close to her cousin. Her husband’s family knows her tragic backstory, but for some reason, her sister-in-law is convinced that she’s the one who is wrong.
Her sister-in-law feels she’s the one who’s heartless here, so she’s curious if she should be less “harsh” about her biological family.
What do you think?
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