A New Study Found That Conflicts With Your In-Laws Likely Is Due To Genetics
Struggling to get along with “the in-laws” has been a phenomenon for centuries. The classic familial conflict has inspired numerous comedy films, self-help books, and ranting Reddit threads.
But, a recent study published in the journal of Evolutionary Psychological Science suggests that the turmoil may be rooted in genetic disposition.
Interestingly, the study first found that both genders experience more conflict with their mothers-in-laws.
In fact, participants reported experiencing five percent more conflict with their mother-in-law than while interacting with their own mothers.
Moreover, most of these disputes involved disagreements over child care or financials. Still, the most intriguing finding relates to the root of these all-too-common quarrels. And the saying “mother knows best” definitely comes into play.
The research team believes that spouses butt heads with in-laws because people instinctually “act in the interest of their genetic kin.”
While this might not sound so bad, it can hamper the most universally beneficial decisions and outcomes.
“This genetic conflict may cause in-laws to disagree about the distribution of resources and investment, just as we see mothers and fathers disagreeing in these domains,” the study reported.
Additionally, these in-law relationships are forced– whether they feel that way or not. Much like children have no way of knowing what family they will be born into, spouses and parents alike do not have much say if love is involved.
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“We do not pick [our relationship with in-laws] as they are unintended consequences,” the study said.
And although both genders divulged experiencing similar conflict levels with their parental in-laws, mothers reported a slight difference.
They reported having less conflict with their daughters’ partners than with their sons’ partners.
Dr. Terri Apter, author of the renowned in-law book “What Do You Want From Me?”, explained how this slight difference likely germinates from stereotypes of female competition.
“The conflict often arises from an assumption that each is criticizing or undermining the other woman. But, this mutual unease may have less to do with actual attitudes and far more to do with persistent female stereotypes that few of us manage to shake off completely,” Dr. Apter said.
Unsurprisingly, fathers reported a different phenomenon. They experience more conflict with their own daughters’ partners.
The researchers believe that this, too, harks back to a paternal instinct to protect. Nonetheless, these defensive attitudes will likely lessen as the relationship matures.
So, while navigating relationships with in-laws, remember that much of their attitudes fall back on the instinct to care for their child. With time and understanding, these familial divisions can be squashed.
To read the study’s complete findings, visit the link here.
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