Avoid Floating Aimlessly And Feeling Unfulfilled By Narrowing Down What You’re Working Toward
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer, Katharina Buczek.
From childhood to young adulthood, we all pretty much had the same desires.
First, we looked forward to high school– because even though teen angst and yo-yo-ing emotions weren’t all they were cracked up to be, shows such as “Gilmore Girls” and “Gossip Girl” seemed like total goals.
Then, once in high school, we all counted down the days until we got our licenses– finally able to gain some semblance of independence and freedom. Afterward, we focused on applying to colleges, high school graduation day, and then the big kahuna– turning 21-years-old and (legally) having our first drink.
Once you pass “the big 21” milestone, though, life starts to get a bit more flexible and subjective. At that point, there aren’t many universal accomplishments to achieve that are bound by age or schooling.
That’s why so many young adults feel lost in their twenties or even their thirties. After doing everything “right”– whether that be graduating college, landing a job, or moving out of your parent’s house– you may still feel like something is missing.
This is an age-old problem. Without the safety net of school requirements or our parent’s pressure, we are left now left to make our own decisions.
Now, growing up, this probably sounded like the ultimate fantasy. We daydreamed about the possibilities and planned to do everything under the sun.
When it actually comes time to flex your independence and set your sights on real-life goals, though, many people can become stuck– paralyzed by all of the options and unsure where to go.
contrastwerkstatt – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
This is completely natural, and if you are in the same boat, you should not feel like you are failing adulthood. Instead, this is just a common obstacle that many people have to work through. And the key is honest self-reflection.
Let’s face it: if you have no clue where you are going, then you are not going to get anywhere fast. This applies to everything in life– from careers and relationships to hobbies and home ownership.
And if you find yourself drifting aimlessly, unsure of what you want to achieve or how to get there, you can become frustrated by the lack of progress and ultimately give up on your dreams.
So in order to give yourself a clear direction in life, you have to start by setting specific, measurable, and achievable goals.
Right about now, you might be thinking, “Back up. Goals for what? I don’t even know what I want!”
That’s a totally valid point, and this is where the self-reflection comes in. Before you can set any realistic and fulfilling goals, you have to identify what you truly want. Think back to your childhood dreams and take stock of your core interests now as an adult.
Don’t be afraid to lean into your fantasies and really get to the bottom of what excites and motivates you.
Is it a dream home by the beach? A fancy job title that comes with its own office? Your own business?
Whatever it may be, narrow down your interests, passions, and end goals. Pro tip: writing them down in a journal can be a great way to organize your thoughts.
Then, once you have successfully done this, you can begin considering your strengths and weaknesses.
Be honest with yourself about the limitations that are holding you back, as well as your “superpowers” that can help propel you to fulfill your potential.
Afterward, you will finally be ready to set some short-term and long-term goals. Of course, the long-term goals are the most exciting. They obviously offer the most change and represent everything that you want.
But quite frankly, all of your short-term goals are the most important. Think of them as stepping stones that, one after another, will eventually lead you to your big aspirations.
That’s why you have to seriously think about your short-term goals and ensure that they are specific, measurable, and achievable. If not, unrealistic goals can leave you feeling disappointed, frustrated, and like you failed before you even started.
So, be honest with yourself about what you can really achieve, and take your short-term goals one step at a time. That’s not to say your goals won’t be challenging. But they should still be attainable.
For instance, if your goal is to write a novel, your first short-term goal might be to write 10 pages a day or a set amount of words per week. Then, once you consistently complete this habit and near the end of your book, your next short-term goal may be to edit 10 pages a day.
After that, you might move on to “bigger” short-term goals– such as searching for a publisher or starting to promote your book on social media.
The point is that you cannot rush from point A to point B. Instead, you have to stay the course and check tiny goals off like a to-do list.
This “to-do” list is essentially your plan of action– allowing you to break down your goals into bite-sized, more manageable tasks. To get a better sense of your short-term goal flow, you can create a visual timeline and write down everything you need to do– in chronological order– to reach your long-term vision.
Some people might prefer to do this in a notebook, while others may enjoy putting sticky notes up on their walls as motivation.
Whatever method you choose, these visual guides will help you stay motivated and committed even in the face of adversity. And after you complete your first couple of short-term goals, the sense of fulfillment and confidence you’ll feel will be priceless.
Along the way, it’s important to remember that your goals and aspirations may change over time– just as we change as humans every day. So, as you grow and evolve as a person, it is totally okay for your interests and priorities to shift.
To deal with these fluctuations, try to remain flexible and open-minded about your goals. Most of the time, pivoting will be for the best if it will genuinely make you happy.
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