She Decided To Have Her Grandfather Fill The “Father Of The Bride” Role At Her Wedding, But Her Mom And Stepdad Are So Upset With Her
When this young woman was just 6-years-old, she lost her dad. And the tragedy was completely unexpected.
Her dad was not sick or anything like that. Instead, he just left her house for work one morning and never returned home.
After his death, her mom was left reeling. And due to the trauma, her mom was reportedly not the best parent at the time.
So, her paternal grandparents stepped in to be there for both of them. But they were especially there for her.
By the time she was 8-years-old, her grandmother sadly passed away, too. Still, her grandpa was her rock throughout it all.
The same day that she found out her grandmother had died, though, just so happened to be the same day she learned that her mother had been dating someone new. And her mom wanted her to meet the guy.
His name was John, and her mom wound up marrying him about a year later– meaning that John is now her stepdad.
“It made me sad that mom had moved on. Made me afraid that they would expect me to think of John as my new dad,” she recalled.
“I remember hating that he was already calling me his kid.”
anatoliycherkas – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
But her grandfather was her confidant and made everything better. He assured her that her father would have just wanted everyone in the family to be happy.
At the same time, her grandpa pointed out how “being happy” did not necessarily mean John had to have a bigger role in her life than “stepdad.”
So, even after John entered the family, she always considered her grandpa to be the primary male role model and father figure in her life.
Sure, she did grow to like her new stepdad. But he could never replace her dad.
Eventually, though, by the time she was 11-years-old, her mom and John started having children of their own. And it was at this point that her grandfather became “public enemy number one” in her mother and stepdad’s eyes.
“He didn’t step in and act as a grandfather to them, and he didn’t go out of his way to be in their family,” she explained.
Yes, her grandpa was kind whenever he saw her half-siblings. But, he just did not view them as adoptive or surrogate grandchildren whatsoever. And her mom and John found that really unfair.
So, now that she is getting married about 20 years after the loss of her dad, she decided to sit her mom and John down to talk about her wedding.
More specifically, she revealed how her grandpa would take on the role of “father of the bride” and walk her down the aisle.
This apparently shocked her mom and her stepdad, and they wanted to know why she had not chosen John for that role. John also claimed that he was the one who had raised her throughout her preteen and teenage years and that he would have adopted her at the drop of a hat if she wanted that.
So, John believed that he was technically the person who filled the “father” role in her life.
She decided to be honest, though, and admitted that she just never looked at John as her father figure after her dad died.
“Grandpa had been there for me and supported me more than any other person through the worst moments of my life,” she added.
But, once she opened up about her true feelings, her mom and John just accused her of rubbing it in their faces. They also claimed that she had asked the wrong person, that she needed to change her mind, and that she shouldn’t have ever told them.
So now, she has been left wondering whether telling her mom and stepdad that her grandpa would be filling the “father of the bride” role was really the wrong thing to do.
Are children required to view their stepdads as main father figures? Shouldn’t she choose whoever she wants to fill that role since it is her wedding? Do you think she should listen to her mom and John? Or should she go with her own heart?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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